My New Job

After all of the excitement of graduation, Noche de la Familia, and my vacation to Puerto Rico I had to deal with process of starting my new job. Two short days after graduation I started my new job as a program coordinator for a low-cost/no-cost community based health outreach program for children. I am happy to report that I survived the first week unscathed. I will not sugar coat my first day on the job experience. I had the foresight…thanks to my grant writing and program design professor at SC, to read the contract that our program has with the County, so thankfully on the first day I already had an understanding of the program. However, nothing could have prepared me for my first staff meeting at 9:00 a.m. only an hour after I started my new job. Immediately when I was told at 8:45 a.m. about my first staff meeting I began thinking about what my leadership style is and how I can best convey that in my initial meeting with my new staff. Then I suddenly became ever grateful to the school of social work for making me take my Leadership class, and of course I perused my Organizational Behavior material to refresh my memory. Our first staff meeting went really well. The only odd thing was that I had two people ask me for days off on my very first day and I felt so odd “granting” their days off. I have also had to sign for three raises in the past week as I had to approve the raises. There has been an immediate shift in my role from student to supervisor, but by Tuesday I started feeling more comfortable with my role as a leader. Overall, I felt prepared for the entire weeklong experience. I have had to review past contracts, future contracts, I have had to accompany my staff to their community-based outreach events, I have had to grant days off, approve salary increases, while simultaneously planning for the establishment of the infrastructure of our new program. There have been numerous challenges this week, but to be completely honest I feel that I was prepared. Also, my present supervisor was my former field instructor and we have built a strong working relationship so I trust that she would not allow me to flounder. A combination of preparation and support allowed me to successfully complete my first week of work as a macro-level practitioner.

Worse Exam EVER!

Okay, this is my last blog on my economics class. This class has been a HUGE challenge. All of my energy for the past five days has been dedicated to this one class. I haven't even bought my graduation regalia because I couldn't pull myself away from the econ books to go to the bookstore. Don't get me wrong it isn't riveting material or anything, I just had to make sure I got all of the information. The exam was absolutely challenging. I used up every second of the two hours allotted to me, but I walked away having double checked all of my answers. Overall, I am just ecstatic to be done with economics!

An Indescribable Phenomenon

So, this whole graduate program in Social Work is like an indescribable phenomenon. Well almost, but I will attempt to succinctly put into words what this entire experience has done for me. As I finished my last day of classes in social work and I processed with my professors and classmates about our experiences in the USC School of Social Work I had so many thoughts and emotions associated with the topic that it was almost overwhelming. I entered this program knowing nothing about social work except for my experiences as a recipient of social work services. I walked into this school with a group of people who I didn’t know and frankly I wasn’t too interested in knowing. However, much to my surprise I have gotten to know so many of my classmates on a personal level and I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to have met and established friendships with so many wonderful people. Never in my life have I felt like I belong more than I have in the past two years. Please do not get me wrong, I acknowledge the differences between myself and many of my classmates and professors. However, being in a school where all individuals there have the same underlying beliefs and values is a unique phenomenon that does not occur very often. Our faculty and staff is also highly represented by social workers so I have been immersed in the world of social work. I started the program a graduate student, but I quickly began to identify as a social worker. After examining my personal and professional development throughout the last two years I recognize that there is method to the school’s madness. Yes we are placed in immersion, but why? Well we need to understand communities, but I mean truly understand community. Yes, we are placed in seminar with classmates for a whole year, but why? Because we gain a cohesive bond that provides support and familiarity. Yes, we chose concentrations, but why? Because even though we all are dedicated to social work our passions differ and we should all be allowed to pursue what we love. I love sitting in class with other students who are passionate about macro-level social work and I love having had the opportunity to sit in class with professors who have done great things as macro-practitioners. I love being able to go to my faculty or staff and know that there is a social worker sitting across from me who can empathize. I love that I have been able to be a part of a caucus where I feel a sense of belonging, and I love the fact that if that caucus wasn’t there the school would support me in starting a caucus. I love that I can do research and assist professors in contributing to the social work knowledge base. I love that I can tutor and share what I have learned with my fellow classmates and future colleagues. Now I walk away with a feeling of satisfaction knowing that I took advantage of every lesson and opportunity that was made available to me. Overall, this experience has been amazing and I am saddened by the fact that I have to leave, but I am so happy that I have had the opportunity to have such a beautiful experience.

Last Tuesday

I can't believe this is my last week...and today was my last "Tuesday"....SAD!

Looking back:

I'm glad I read my own academic books...
I'm glad I met with social work friends to talk shop...ie. social justice and community change...yay!
I'm glad I got involved this last year...at school...at internship...and at home...and in the community.
I'm glad I refused to let go of my values.
I'm glad I was given the opportunity to give back to my school.
I'm glad I met some pretty awesome first years.
I'm glad I went to therapy...helped me to kick the coffee...(WOW!)
I'm glad I was picky about my electives.
I'm glad I chose to look outside the box at my internship.
I'm glad I went to Skid Row.
I'm glad I'm a SOCIAL WORKER.

Looking forward:

I'm glad I have a job.
I'm glad I feel empowered at my new job.
I'm glad I have the opportunity to ADVOCATE at my new job.
I'm glad I'm working with an agency and people I believe in.
I'm glad I'm working in an agency where I can utilize my macro skills.
I'm glad I'm happy.
I'm glad I'm a SOCIAL WORKER.
...oh yeah...I'm glad I've been 25 days sober! (one day at a time...)

Update on Termination

Yesterday at my placement, I had to say goodbye to 5 of my clients. I really didn't think it was going to be difficult because last week seemed to go so smoothly. However, I surprisingly felt some pangs of sadness despite my feelings last week that it would not be difficult! I guess I don't have a heart of steel! One of my clients was unable to be there because he ended up in the hopsital. I was really bummed out that I wouldn't be able to see him for one last time or to say goodbye. This was really surprising to me since he had been one of the most difficult clients to work with and I generally did not feel that I was attached to any of my clients. Wrong and wrong again. I called his hopsital room to say goodbye and find out how he was doing and the entire time I felt this sinking feeling in my stomach. I was NOT happy with our relationship ending without seeing each other. It felt artificial saying goodbye over the phone and really...NOT final. I found myself wishing that he could've been able to come in so we could say a "proper" goodbye. Ah! It just goes to show you that social workers must constantly try to balance their feelings of attachment and keep their professional boundaries. All of my clients wanted me to give them my phone number or e-mail so they could keep in touch with them since I had become a friend figure in the theraputic process. Now of course, I can't give out that info to them, even though I have the same wonderings about what they will be doing with their life in the future. Thank goodness I have one more year left so I can have more practice figuring out this balance!!!

Two more weeks!!

One more week of field and then my first year field placement is over. Wow...what a feeling. I am not sure where the time went. It seems like just yesterday I was meeting my field instructor for the first time. I have met a lot of great people there and will miss them greatly. My first year placement was a joy and something that I will take with me to my second year placement. On Monday begins a new chapter in my graduate education. It is the time where I start making calls to my second year choices and set up interview dates and times. I am a bit nervous but mostly excited. This coming week will be extremely busy. I have a presentation in my practice class which is not my favorite thing to do because speaking in front of even 15 people makes me a bit nervous. Although, this week will be fun because in some of my classes we are having a potluck to celebrate the end of the year and end of the semester. This should be fun and pretty laid back. It is hard to imagine that this year is almost over. The summer is much needed yet I am going to miss a lot of great people over the summer since I will be out of town most of the summer.

Erica's Graduate Survival Tips

I thought it might be useful to share some of the techniques that I have utilized throughout graduate school to survive : ) that have been very effective. The techniques are listed in no particular order.

1. Learn to write in APA format accurately....so buy the APA handbook.

2. Attend all brown bags possible. Not only will you gain an immense amount of knowledge, but most of the time they have great free food.

3. Always have quarters ready for the parking meters on Jefferson. The parking right in front of the school of social work is great because of its proximity and its $1 for four hours.

4. Always send a back up copy of all papers, and presentations to your own e-mail in case of emergency. This is extremely useful when you forget to bring your thumb drive to your final presentation : ).

5. Keep your eyes open for opportunities on campus and seize the moment. There are a number of great opportunities on campus for work that will bring in some extra income. Working side jobs on campus is not only convenient, but you get to know the faculty and staff much better.

Termination Lunch

Today my internship placement had a termination lunch for myself and another intern. During the lunch I was asked some challenging questions. I was asked what I learned...I had a difficult time verbalizing how much I have learned about macro level social work, and about the culture of large bureaucratic social service organizations that function like large machines. I am walking away having learned so much and it would take a very long time for me to share all of that information. I have also had several challenges as an intern that I was able to overcome and they have been invaluable to my learning process. Overall, my learning experience as an intern has been rich and full of opportunities as well as challenges but I am officially ready to move on.

The "Final" Countdown

Sometimes, you start to get panicked thinking about all the assignments you need to turn in before you get to call it quits for the summer. All of my friends seem to be experiencing the same hightened levels of anxiety. About two weeks ago, I made a list in my notebook called the "Final" Countdown. (ha, yes, I think i'm funny!) I had 7 papers to write, 2 tests to study for, and 2 presentations to give. All within the last 4 weeks of school (and the week of finals I guess following). Seeing it on paper helped me plan for it. I'm almost done with one of my finals now, and soon I'll start studying for my last test in research. This is the busiest time of year! I'm also trying to coordinate where I'll be living next year and a job for the summer and packing up all my stuff to move back home for the summer! It's crazy!! Somehow, I've still managed to get things done...I think having read so much at the beginning really helped out now. All I have to focus on is the writing of the papers...and doing additional research, but that always seems like a non-stop process. I AM really looking forward to being done. I think we need a break when we don't have a bunch of deadlines hanging over our heads or assignments to worry about. I told one of my friends that I wasn't going to do any learning this summer, and he just laughed at me and said, "yeah right, you'll start reading for next year!" Unfortunately, he's probably right. I really want to buy some of my books in advance...although I'm not sure how I'm going to figure out what books to buy! Maybe I'll just go to Borders and get a ton of books that look interesting to me that are related to social work...I mean let's be serious, we are going to use references for our papers, so it'll help in the long run! I'm always looking ahead towards the future...but maybe I should learn to live more in the moment. Who knows! If I had more time, I could contemplate that further, but for now...I'm off to getting things checked off my list! 2 more weeks!!!! Crazy!!! Scary, exciting, and hectic all at the same time!

The Team of MIcro and Macro Level Practice

This coming week holds a lot more stress then I care to talk about. I have my last research exam, which I am a bit nervous about and am feeling a bit apprehensive as well. Also I am terminating with most of my clients, which leaves me feeling a little sad. One of my clients has asked to continue in therapy and it has been my recommendation that they continue however due to the lack of resources the client will be referred out to county mental health. It seems a bit disappointing for me since he has grown attached to the agency as a whole and will now be asked to seek services elsewhere because at my agency the interns do most of the therapeutic services therefore when we all leave the agency lacks counseling services. On a more academic and policy level this just tells me there is a lot of work to be done on a more macro level. Making changes at an organizational level takes political changes, which again reinforces the micro-macro team. I have learned a lot about myself as well as the power of policy while working at this agency and it has inspired me to be not only a great clinician but also a superb advocate.

leaving MSW =(

I'm in denial about leaving my program. I loved this last year immensely. The elective courses were amazing, my teachers were amazing, I met people through networking with my intership (an opportunity that I would not have had elsewhere.) Moving on was sad when I wasn't sure where I was going and although I'm still in denial, the end is sneeking up quickly....and the future looks bright.

Termination...the hardest part for me

Well, as we all prepare for termination with our first year, I realize that the hardest part for me isn't with my clients, but with my field instructor. Now by saying this, I do not mean to imply that my clients are not important to me. I think each one of them will always hold a special place in my heart, but I've always considered all of the people I've met in my life in that way. Everyone has an impact on you...large or small. My clients have helped me grow and learn so many life lessons too...I really feel that I've matured as an individual as well as a social worker. I've never really struggled with goodbyes because I've always been one to look to the future and say, "This was great, I've learned a lot...what's next!" However, leaving my field instructor is going to be tough! For awhile, I couldn't quite put my finger on why I felt sad about saying goodbye to him, but I realized it was because he did such an amazing job this year, I am worried that next year I won't get someone as good!! He's been an amazing guide on this journey and I can't thank him enough for drilling me on Cognitive Behavior Therapy or Countertransference and fun social work stuff like that. He really pushes me to take some risks and try new techniques. I know that next year will be an adventure...I just hope my field instructor is as wonderful as mine this year!!

The Countdown Begins!

I have officially begun to countdown to graduation. The entire process is bittersweet. I have to coordinate my schedule to fit in more group projects than I would like (don’t get me started on my feelings about group projects), and I have to prepare for finals. Additionally, I feel like the clock is ticking and I have so much I want to do. I want to personally thank all of the professors that have in the last two years played a critical role in helping me develop as a professional and a social worker. I want to speak to my classmates and future colleagues who have inspired me and I want to share with them what a huge impact they have had in my life during the last two years. On top of all of that I want to finish my MSW strong while keeping in mind that I still have another Master’s degree to finish. I am three classes away from my MPA which I planned to finish this summer. However, due to my new job I will be unable to do so and will finish it this December. If you know me personally, you would know how much it bothers me to have to change my carefully established plans, but one thing I’ve learned in these past two years is that I have to be flexible. I am experiencing some separation anxiety as graduation approaches, but I have come to accept that all good things must come to an end and I have to move on the next chapter of my life.

Termination

Today was a harder day than I had imagined. I terminated with a client that I have grown to care deeply about over the past few months. I have seen her grow in ways that only affirm to me her strength and power. She has come along way and I know that she is ready to fly on her own. We discussed her strengths and her accomplishments and it was then that I saw the real work in progress. When I first started working with her I was doing most of the talking. I was giving her positive affirmations, yet now at the end of therapy she is the one giving herself positive affirmations. I feel a bit sad, yet I am really happy too. I know that the therapeutic process is difficult and for the first time I had the privilege to see a client ready to fly the coupe. I know that she will be one that I remember over the years and fondly think about. It does not make it easier to say goodbye to her but it does make it better to know that she is ready to terminate and use the wings that she developed during our work together.

It is almost here!

Wow, so summer is almost here. However, before I start thinking about summer I need to focus on writing all my final papers. Tonight I received my last assignment in Human Behavior. I now have all of my finals sitting on my desk just staring back at me. Now is the time to get down to business, although truth be told I probably will not start on them until next week since this week my focus is on my upcoming research exam. Research has been my most difficult class since I had no prior research experience. Well that is not entirely true, I did take a research methods class in my junior year of undergrad however, we did not talk about validity, reliability and there was no mention of statistics. I have been a bit lost in research and I have finally reached the conclusion that my perfection issues need not apply to this class. If I get a B in this class I will be thoroughly overjoyed. Research is tough but human behavior is fun and exciting, therefore it seems to all balance out. As the year comes to an end I honestly am experiencing mixed emotions. I am stressed about the finals (of course), I am feeling happy about my concentration year placement choices, nervous about the interviews and challenged by my research class. All in all it has been an interesting, at times frustrating and fun experience. In less than a month I will be done with my first year placement, and my first year of graduate school. Holy smokes, time flies when your having fun!!!

On the final stretch (prt 2)

Running this race, the 400m race, is similar to the race I've been experiencing during my final year in the graduate school. For instance, when I began my concentration year, I had a blueprint in my mind. The blueprint detailed my plans on receiving straight As, impressing my supervisors and mentors at my field placement, improving my clinical and mezzo level skills, improving my organization and time management skills, and just growing overall as a person.

So I went into the first quarter of the school year strong. I was keeping up with all my assigned readings, participating in classes, getting As on papers and projects, and so on. Life was going according to plan and things were great. But as the Fall semester lingered on, outside incidents involving my family, friends, and colleagues began to slow up my progress and I steadily began to fall behind. Consequently, I couldn't keep up with the readings, I was too stressed to participate in my classes, and my midterm grades were not where I wanted them to be. In a sense, I began to feel like I was gradually losing the race.

But just when everything seemed to be going in a downwards spiral the phone calls began. Inspirational and motivational phone calls from my parents, sisters, and close friends. "Yo, I know you stressin' right now, but you've been doing this for 6 yrs. You're a veteran, you got this man....you didn't come this far to give up now, get your head up and get it done," my best friend Chris said one Friday evening. He was right. I had indeed come far. I had endured many personal trials and tribulations and I was still standing. In retrospect, these encouraging words were just what I needed to hear from my loved ones at that point in the semester. Picking up my pace, I gradually got back on track. And by the end of the Fall semester I was slowly gaining ground, step by step.

Entering into that final turn of the Spring semester, my previous efforts were suddenly detoured when my supervisor became gravely ill and was forced to go on medical leave for the rest of the school year. I was devastated. He had been my mentor, the social work professional I had someday hoped to be, and now he was gone. But despite his absence and struggling financially amongst other things, I told myself I had to keep my head up and keep moving. And that's exactly what I did. I continued to see all my clients, attend meetings with adminstrators, hold parent conferences, get my school work completed, and participate in my classes. Matter of fact, I even increased my caseload to motivate me to work that much harder. The month of March was coming to an end, and I felt myself gathering what track athletes refer to as that "second-wind" to make it to May 11th, 2007.

Today is April 10th, 2007 and I find myself strategically weaving through all my final papers, projects, presentations, and job interviews towards to reach my ultimate goal--graduation. From the very beginning, it was never an easy race. It was one with its ups and downs, its failures and successes. It was a race characterized by sleepless nights of anxiety and isolated tears of frustration. I had always had the desire to finish the race, but never knew exactly how I would finish, or if I would have the perserverance to do so. But here I am today, standing firm with a ingenius grin on my face, neck and neck with life and all of its unknowns. And for the first time during my 2 years in the Social Work graduate program, I can see myself finishing in first place, walking across that stage on graduation day to win the race.

On the final stretch (prt 1)

It's feels like I'm running the 400m race all over again. But this time I'm not a Letter Men jacket wearing, think-nobody-can-beat-me, too cool for school,hot shot track star at Buena Park High School. Ha, I'm far from it. I am now a button down shirt wearing, hope-I-can-get-a-job, 603-Research-class-fearing, social work intern at the University of Southern California who, at the end of his career hopes to not receive a medal for "Most Valuable Player", but a dipolma for "Most Promising Future". Now pay attention.

As I come around the first turn, I'm plotting strategy in my head. You know, like any conscious person would do. "Easy does it Bobby, easy does it, they won't know what hit them", I repeat to myself; the subliminal message causes me to grin a little. As I entered into the first straightaway, I hear the sounds of heavy spiked cleats punturing the hard, chalked ground below me. With a quick glance over my shoulder, I notice no one else in sight. I think I'm in last place.

The aggresive pounding of my heart is seemingly synchronized with my heavy breathing. My vision becomes slightly blurred. Sweat trickles down my entire face like a thunderous rainstorm against a window pane. I'm not sure I'm going to make it to the finish line.

Suddenly I hear voices, familiar sounding voices. It's Coach Hirsch. "NOW Gilmore! NOW!" "Let's GO, let's GO!" he screams, running along the inside perimeter of the track. Although I was in last place approaching the final stretch, coach knew like I knew, that the race was far from over. Coming on strong into the final stretch, I turn on the afterburns. They were the same afterburners that had earned me the nickname "The Roadrunner" and made me the all-time record holder for fastest 400m time in school history (48.13 secs). The collective gasps of my seated onlookers in the bleachers told the entire story. Just when it seemed that all was lost and as though I'd surely finish in last place, I began catching up--and I was catching up fast. I don't think my opponents believed it either. I suddenly began weaving my way through the tall athletic bodies of my opponents like a master seamster. Delirum and dehydration consumed my fraile, 130lb frame. "Get em son, get em son!" my parents cheered in unison from the stands. With 50 yards to go, there was only one more person to beat; Ronnie Harrison, last year's CIF 400m 2-time defending champion. 30 yards to go, I was gaining on him. 20 yards, we were neck and neck. 10 yards to go...I was giving it 150 percent. As our exhausted bodies reached the crimson colored finish line tape, I closed my eyes, leaned forward like coach had taught me to do in such a situation, and hoped for the best...

Missing My School Family

The other day I was sitting in front of Leavey library waiting for my group to arrive for our meeting and I began to think about all the things I will miss when I graduate my MSW program. I realized that the thing I will miss the most will be my school family. My fellow board members in the Latino/a Social Work Caucus are my family away from home and I could not believe how hard it was for me to think about us separating. When I first took a board position I did not have a close relationship with any of my fellow board members and we only knew each other from our classes. However, we have grown to be so close and as a team we have led a wonderful and successful Caucus throughout the year. I acknowledge that being part of a student organization is a whole lot of work and it is comparable to having another job, but the rewards that the work brings with it is difficult for me to quantify. The feeling of being part of something so wonderful is fulfilling and motivating at the same time. I was also able to find support and motivation from my fellow board members that carried me through a number of challenges that I faced throughout my graduate school experience. My advice to any incoming social work student is to get involved and I promise your graduate school experience will be enhanced.

Something positive!

Today I met with my client and realized that she has grown throughout our time together. She has an open case with DCFS and was referred to me because she needed to work on issues around anger. When I first met her she stated that she did not hit her children and that she could not understand why she was in her current state. Today when I was in session, she admitted fault and was able to take full responsibility for her actions. I noticed that she is using the breathing techniques we went over and problem solving before she reacts. She is able to view her own childhood and remember the abuse that happened to her. She recognizes the cycle of violence and wishes to put and end to it. Also, it is important to ad that she is handling situations differently. It is amazing to witness such growth in a short amount of time. It sometimes nice to reflect on the change that happens and it's something positive to add to my day!

Tired!

Midterms are completed and I am tired. I realized that there is only 4 weeks left of school and I should begin working on finals. Not to mentioned I will be terminating with clients and will need to offer referrals and discharge plans to each client. The problem I am having is that I can not muster up enough energy to complete my work. I'm tired and every time I look at text book I get overwhelmed. I am just done! I am physically and mentally tired. Last week, I slept through my alarm clock and missed one of my classes. That's when you know you are tired. I think what is getting me through this process is that it will all be over soon. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I envision summer break, me spending time with friends and family, going on vacation and reading for fun. I just need to get through the next four week, which when you think about it, will go rather quickly. Before I know it, my first year will be over and done with. I am ready, ready for it all to be done and too final get some rest!

Grades are coming in!

so my midterm grades are coming in slowly but surely. I must say so far I am satisfied with my grades. I really can't complain too much. It's amazing how we sometime worry, an envision the worst case scenario and when the situation is resolved, you can look back and ask yourself what was all the stress about. I think i was most concerned with how I did with my research midterm. This classes is the added stress for the semester. I think it's safe to say that most people within the program find this class the most challenging. For me, it involves a lot of stress and insecurities. I feel as if I am constantly confused and lost in this class and I know I am not alone. On the other hand, it sometimes feels like this but from my midterm it would appear that I know more than I think I d0. So I am feeling a little more relaxed and a little more confident to take on the final. I guess I just need to trust in the process that things will eventually work out. This is easy to see now but when you are up writing your paper until 6:00 am in the morning you lose this perspective.

MACRO PROJECT!

So as part of your first year, you are expected to look for the gaps within your placement/ agency. During the first semester we had to write a paper stating a problem within our agency and how we proposed to fix the problem. In the second semester you are given an assignment which is referred to as the Marco project, it sounds harder then it is. Anyways, my macro project was providing services to adolescents. My agency is a family base agency that works primarily with children 0-5. What I noticed during my time at the agency is that little attention is focused on adolescents and that many of the families we serve contain adolescents. What I also noticed was that there was much attention in the media and in the area on gang violence, school violence and family violence amongst adolescent children. After examining the need within the agency and the area, I thought to myself that it might be useful to start a teen violence group. This process start in the beginning of January and took a lot of planning and implementation. We had to first assess/convience the community that this was a need that they should be concerned about. My partner and I went to community meetings to talk about the problem and acquired a list of possible parents who would be interested in enrolling their children in this program. We also need to gain support from the community service center. In order for us to service the community we would need a space within the center to provide our services. This process took well over a month. We had trouble communicating with individuals, gaining a space and distributing flyers. All we wanted to do was start a group and before we could do that we had to jump through so many hoops but I guess that's how it goes! Eventually we gained consent, establish a place and submitted flyers amongst the community. After all of this my fear was that no one would show up. We had been warned that community members need incentive to participate and all we had was food. On the first day of our group I was really worried that I would fail and that no one would show up. After 15 mins, when no one showed up I panicked! Eventually, kids arrived and my fear subsided for a minute, then I realized I would have to provide these kids with an interesting group and hope they would return. To make a long story short, the group went well and the children appeared to enjoy themselves. It appears to be a success and all my fears have subsided. Now it's about enjoying the process and examining what their needs are. When listening to the children, I realized that all of the hard work and struggles were worth it because in the end, these children have an outlet to express themselves. At the end of our first session, one child stated that he wished we could stay longer. He was glad that we were there but that he wished the group was going to be around for a longer time. My hope is that the group will grow and hopefully what my partner and I started will grow into a program that will help the children with in this community.

Foundation Year Fun

So...as the summer approaches I find myself doing a lot of reflecting on this year. I can not believe how far I have come. There have been some great times and some times that were harder than I would have imagined. Yet through it all I have learned so much about who I am. I entered the program thinking I solely wanted to be a clinician I enjoyed working with people, but after the past few weeks of classes as well as doing the "Macro Project" for seminar I find myself really enjoying program changes. I am currently working in a Cal-Learn program that does not offer supportive counseling for it's recipients. As a social work intern I have decided to see if I can find a way to add this service. It may not be feasible at this time, however, change occurs with only one idea. I used to be a bit of a pessimist, now I find myself being more of an optimist. I have enjoyed my field placement so much that the very thought of leaving saddens me greatly. However, I realize that it is just another stepping stone in my graduate school journey.

Its Official I Have a Job!

I have officially taken a job offer for a position that I never thought I would get. I didn't think I would get the position because I am fresh out of graduate school, and because I was the youngest applicant in the applicant pool. I thought my age would work against me because I would be overseeing a staff where everyone is older than me. I know I will face challenges because I am only 23 and sometimes age is incorrectly associated with ability, but I have mentally prepared myself to deal with those challenges. I will be coordinating my own health outreach program and I am super excited. I am very happy to announce that the position fits my professional interests very well. I will be able to be responsible for my own budget, grant writing, needs assessment, as well as management which will allow me to use the skills gained from both my Social Work and Public Administration degrees, I will also be responsible for overseeing a staff of four. The program grant was just recently given to the agency so I will be starting the program from the ground up and I feel very fortunate to be able to do so. I will be able to use my macro skills and will be able to develop my community-based intervention skills which is another area that I am very interested in. Also, I will be working with the Spanish-speaking community which is a population that I am very interested in. My job will be at the agency where I was placed first year, and I feel like I have come full circle. My first year internship experience was awesome and it was great exposure to the clinical setting. Now I have the opportunity to return to work in the same place where I first identified myself as a social worker.

Living Arrangements During Graduate School

There seem to be a number of pro's and con's to living at home during graduate school. On the positive side I get free room and board, and I have regular access to my mother's cooking for free. On the negative side as the social worker in the family I am expected to assist everyone with their problems. Increasingly I find my family seeking my assistance and support, and all I want is to be left alone to write papers, study, and read. However, I feel guilty saying no so I find myself always helping out. So, before you decide where to live during graduate school I suggest that you create a pro's and con's list to truly assess if the free room and board is worth it.....I'm beginning to think that in my case it is NOT.

Summer is fast approaching!

Well today I realized that summer is fast approaching and I need to get a job. I have been feeling a bit insecure about finding a job. I would like to do something in the field of social work, however since I will only be able to work for the summer doing direct client contact seems nearly impossible. I am spending most of the summer back in my hometown and have decided to go back to my old job, at first I felt as if it were taking a step back but then I realized that a break is much needed and with this particular job I will be able to still have fun and enjoy the summer before my last year of grad school. With summer almost here it can be a bit nerve racking, yet it seems rather funny too. I say funny because in the last month all I wanted was a bit of break, but now it is almost here and I am feeling a bit a stressed about that too. I suppose, I need to just enjoy the time left in school as well as take a break this summer (well as much as I can) and simply take it piece by piece.

My First Job Offer, OH DEAR!

So, I have officially gotten my first job offer for a position that I would love to have. I would be able to coordinate a new program at a private non-profit agency and I would have a staff of four. I am excited, but hesitant to take the position because I was hoping to apply to at least seven to ten jobs and then I would decide from there. However, I have only applied to three jobs, and I really am not ready to commit to one agency. The agency also wants me to start working three days after graduation…..SERIOUSLY THREE DAYS!!!! I have so many factors to consider, and I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to take the first offer that I get….even though it’s a position that I would really enjoy…..I don’t know….at this point too much is going on we’ll see where I end up : ).

The sickness of social workers

The thing that is so sick about social workers is that we're never happy unless we're too busy...

There's really nothing like getting back from spring break to make you THINK you have some free time and that getting right back into work is not necessary...it's really a LIE.

So I'm starting on my finals early...lets be honest...it's going to take me the next four weeks to research, organize and write the 40 plus pages I'm assigned.

On top of that I'm interviewing for jobs...freaking out because I'm not sure I want the jobs I'm getting interviews for....dreaming about the job I want but can't have (b/c that agency isn't hiring as of now)...AND

Finishing my internship...the giant needs assessment of mental health services in Skid Row...the paperwork to get siting completed for our wellness center, management team, and crisis resolution center...and closing my client's cases...AND

Helping out with everything in Student Org...organizing and finalizing Lobby Days...helping with elections...send out thank you cards...meet with new Community Service Chair...prepare the job handbook...

Ok....it's going to be ok...

Resumes, And Interviews, And Life, OH MY!

Resumes, and interviews, and Life, oh my! Yeah, things are kind of starting to feel like the Wizard of Oz for me in recent weeks. With the academic school year coming to an abrupt end, it is time for all second year students to start sending out resumes via e-mail, schedule interviews with prospective agencies of interest, and well, in my case, start preparing for my future outside of the protective barriers of the educational system. Yet, with the ensuing tornado on the horizon (i.e. family life, friends, research, papers, projects, etc.), it has been hard not to wonder where I'll crash land in Oz when the debris has cleared. Will I get a job working in a family and children organization that focuses its treatment goals on improving one's overall quality of life? Or maybe a job as a program therapist/coordinator of services? Or how about working as a PSA counselor in a school setting where my primary objective will be to hunt down the truant and restore order to the school's attendance records? Will I have to relocate? Will I make enough money to live on? Will I be able to afford paying off my student loans? Will my family be okay? How about my friends, will they be alright?

I'm only 24-years-old but with so many questions remaining, I feel like I have come to embody the characteristics of all of my childhood Wizard of Oz heroes to make it through these final five weeks of the Master's program here at USC.

Like Dorthy, I feel as though I have been suddenly thrust into this new world of Social Work where there are those who are looking out for my well-being (i.e. Glenda the Good witch of the North and the little munchkins, remember those cute creatures?), and others who are looking to make my path to success a living nightmare (i.e. the nasty, pimpled-nosed Wicked witch of the West). My only motivation residing in the fact that I will someday make a major change in this world by helping those in need. Similarly, at times, like the Scarecrow, I feel alone and mindless, my only salvation coming from a random passerby or family member who offers their words of encouragement to ensure me that all of my sweat and tears have been for not. And then there is the Tin Man. Like the beloved, tap dancing metallic man, I find myself in search of a heart. Not a heart in terms of romance; rather attempting to have a heart for those individuals whom have caused psychological and emotional harm to the students I work with. Those individuals may include but not be limited to: substance abusing parents, uncaring teachers, peers with all the wrong intentions, and the government and its dysfunctional "justice" system for foster care youth. This is a struggle every social worker will undoubtedly experience at some point in their careers and will have to find an unresolved compassion in their hearts to forgive such persons.

And last but certainly not least there is the Cowardly Lion. With his menacing exterior and soft interior, the lion is best known for his admittedly less than heroic ways. In retrospect, I oftentimes find myself searching for the courage to do bigger, more challenging things in my life. For instance, I was having a conversation with my dad the other day and he mentioned how there are no major, prominent leaders today in America. He asked, "Son, where are the Martin Luther Kings and Malcolms? Where are the Huey Netwons, Chavezes, and Roosevelts?" And he was right. Where were our leaders and future leaders at? Leaders that will not only make changes at the micro and mezzo levels, but those leaders whom will find the courage to stand for issues that will make nationwide and global changes. I'm talking about the changes that cause such an uproar that one's life ends as a martyr.

Amongst the resumes, interviews, and life in general, I often find myself feeling lazy and unmotivated to become proactive. But whenever that happens, I quickly remind myself that at the end of the dark, hunted forest of life there is always an Emerald City that awaits; one offering all of its blessings and riches to those who steadily work to reach its gates. It is important to understand that as human beings it is very easy to get caught up in the hub-bub and negativity of everyday life. Aside from being the do-gooders of the world, we are all people--people who will come up against and potential fall in the face of adversity. Yet, no matter what, we must rise up against all circumstances and continue to be the best social workers and people we can be.

So whenever you feel a "resumes, and interviews, and life, oh my!" chant coming on, remember, you have the guidance, intelligence, heart, and courage necessary to make it through any obstacle in life. You have always had these things or you would not have made it this far.

So, I guess I'm off to see the Wizard...the wonderful Wizard of Oz... (just kidding, you know I had to leave you with a catchy Wizard of Oz phrase....fight on!)

What to do in LA on the weekends!

I forgot to mention this, but yesterday, I went to the Getty museum with my parents and it was awesome! The Getty is an art museum with really cool architecture and it's located in the hills overlooking part of Beverly Hills. Admission is free and you only have to pay $8 to park. Once you park, you get to take a 5 minute monerail ride to the museum where you can spend hours looking around at the exhibits, paintings, and gardens there! The paintings were fantastic...I really loved seeing their collection of Monet (who is my favorite!) which may be small, but it's great. If you are in Los Angeles and need a break from studying or you just want to do something new, I would encourage you to check it out!

Crunch Time

I can't believe it. I know everyone's been saying it, but with summer only 5 weeks away and TONS of assignments/tests/finals coming it, it feels like this semester has flown by. Last week I turned in an 18 page paper for my practice class and this week I'm working on my behavior midterm! (right...with only 5 weeks left, we shouldn't be having midterms...I have no idea...go figure!) Last Friday, I was sitting in my seminar, waiting for class to begin when I had the brilliant idea of writing down all the major assignments I still had to do before the semester was over. After I made my list, I had a slight feeling of panic, thinking, "How in the world am I ever going to finish all this in a time span of 6 weeks?" So, like any other normal person, I turned to the girl sitting next to me and said, "Hey, wanna freak out for a second?" to which she, (like any normal social worker) replied "Sure!" and checked out my list so we could both freak out together for a few seconds. Then class started and we forgot about it for awhile. I guess it's really not that intimidating if you do a little bit every week...but I have some other crazy things to accomodate. As an out of town student, it's a big deal when parents come to visit! Mine are here for 9 days to spend some time with me since I haven't seen them in 11 weeks! 11 WEEKS! That's the longest I've ever gone without seeing them! They came in Friday night from Chicago and we've had a lot of fun since. It's amazing how you just adapt to your situation...whatever it may be, and I definitely adapated to not seeing my parents once every month or so. Crazy! Since they are in town, I'm going to try to get my stuff done as quickly and efficiently as possible so I can maximize the time spent with them! Naturally, they are a lot of fun (since they are related to me...haha) and I don't want to be thinking about the papers I have to turn in when I'm with them! I must use my time wisely. I will, I think...just keep your fingers crossed!

5 more weeks...

5 more weeks? Are you kidding me? Where did this semester go? Where did last semester go? Matter of fact, where did the last two years go? It's amazing how one minute you're celebrating being accepted into the graduate program and the very next minute you're nervously anticipating graduation. Before the program, I felt like I really had no direction in life. It was my senior year and I had spent 3 of those years in a broadcast journalism program that just wasn't suited for me. I was nervous, scared even. I didn't want to end up like my good friend who graduated from USC and spent the first year out of college working at Trader Joes. I had worked WAY too hard to settle for a cashier's job at a local marketplace (nothing against cashier's at Trader Joe's, I love organic foods and believe they do a stand up job when it comes to customer service). Besides, I knew I wanted to receive my Masters degree in SOMETHING, but I really had no idea what that something would be. It was frustrating...very, very, very frustrating. However, once I relaxed and talked to my parents, trusted professors and advisers, I was directed to Monica Ellis' office (she is the Social Work adviser) and she sold me on the entire Social Work program in less than an hour. It seemed like a perfect fit. I knew I wanted to work with youth and the program offered that. I knew I wanted to earn a Master's Degree, and again the program opened the door to that. Reminiscing, I realize I have come along way since my senior year in college. I now have direction in my life. I have matured and immensely grown as a person. I have strengthened my work ethic. I have a greater appreciation for the resiliency and spirit of the human heart. And most importantly, I am happy with the endless possibilities of my future within the world of social work....man...five more weeks....where did time go.....

Just a quick note before I get back to MIDTERMS!!

I am in the midst of writing two midterms this weekend. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with all of the writing and research to be done. However, I know that I can only do what is humanly possible. I have been stressing a bit about all the reading to be done this next week however, at this time it almost seems impossible to do any of it tonight. I have my list of things to do, and I have checked off some (not as many as I would have liked) and now I need to forge ahead. I suppose looking at it all is what is overwhelming me, so I need to sit back, relax and take a deep breathe as well as take it one step at a time. A tool that I still use and need to work on because it has worked and gotten me through many rough weekends of papers, tests, and readings.

Finding my niche in the social work world

Presently I am facing the challenge of finding my niche in the professional social work world. I have a number of interests which include research, contributing to the knowledge base, community based interventions, and the Latino/a community with a specific interest in monolingual Spanish-speakers and new immigrants. I have focused my job search to jobs that will allow me to work within the areas so that I can use the knowledge that I already have and to develop new skills and knowledge as I develop as a professional social workers. I want a job that has a research component to it because it will prepare me to pursue my research interests at the Ph.D level. I feel the pressure at this moment to be strategic in selecting my future place of employment as it will dictate my professional experiences and it will probably be where most of my research questions will emerge from in addition to the questions that I already have. I know my interests lie at the macro-level with a specific focus on communities and I am hopeful that I will find a job position that allows me to do all of those things.

Lesson for the week: Termination

Today in my practice course we discussed the process of terminating with clients. Termination means many things to many people both personally and professionally. The class seemed to have mixed views on termination. I think many of us have feeling around saying good-bye to someone. Being a good clinician does not mean that you don't care about your clients, and it does not mean that you won't think of them at times, however, making a healthy termination is most beneficial for the client. I found myself struggling with the idea that I would not be seeing some of these clients again. How do good social workers draw the line between personal and professional attachments? It seems rather difficult at times but I suppose if I remind myself of the roles in which we play in this realm then it seems simple that my goal is to do what is in the best interest of the client. So as the next few weeks near, terminating with clients is part of the inevitable process. The connection between clinician and client is strong but remembering that your relationship is strictly professional. Many students discussed their ability to recognize their own counter-transference coming up when termination is being processed and discussed. I too have felt my own issues coming up. Being a social worker does not mean that you are completely separate, we are human, we have feelings but the key is to recognize them and understand them so that you don't cross the ethical line between personal and professional boundaries. Class today was really useful, it affirmed my belief that social workers can care; they can have a professional investment in their clients. It is okay to be human, just recognize your humanness and work through it if need be. Today was a good day for a great lesson.

anxiety rising

I don't know if it's the knowledge of my formal education ending...the thought of starting a career...or a subconscious desire to enter into a PhD program and knowing that I won't (b/c I think it's unethical to do so straight out of an MSW program, unless your research has no bearing on the direct needs of the community) that is creating this immense anxiety deep in my gut.

Whatever it is, it truly freaks me out.

People say...that this is normal.
Sociologists say I'm a product of an overly competitive and ever depressing world.
My therapist says I need to stop thinking 10 years ahead.
My professors say I need to embrace my experiences and tell me it’s going to be ok…this is my journey.
Everyone says I need to take care of myself...

Take care of myself??? The last two years in this program have been a life of always knowing that I have to take care of myself and not ever really feeling like I have the opportunity and time to. The scary thing is...this notion of self care becomes even more imperative when I leave school and enter the field.

My only hope is that I will be able to....take care of myself...because I'll have the time.........right????

Late Night!

So it is about 5:25 am in the morning and I just finished my midterm for research. This is the first time, I have ever pulled an all nighter. I must say it is not fun but it was necessary to get the work completed. I will use this as a lesson for better planning next time. It does not pay to avoid and procrastinate. Well I guess i better go to bed because I have to get up for school in four hours.

When there is micro there is always macro!

Yesterday, all first year students had a chance to meet with the advisors of their selected concentrations and discuss what was in store for the upcoming year. There is so much to be done before next year. The concentration I have chosen is Families and Children with a sub concentration in schools. However, after reviewing my sub concentration I find myself really wondering if this is for me. I really want to work with school age children but I am not sure if schools are the right setting. It is hard because it seems to be crunch time and I am still unsure. To ease my mind I have decided to meet with the advisor for school social work. Knowing what concentration I wanted seemed to be simple for me however, picking a sub concentration has been a bit overwhelming. Yesterday was exciting however. As I was sitting there, I really felt that it was going to happen. I was going to be studying exactly what I wanted. The foundation year is set as simply that. It is a foundation to the social work practice. You don't specifically studying one population or one theory or method. You learn how to apply and educate both the micro and macro levels of social work. In my case, I desire to be a clinician and love doing direct practice; so next year will be filled with this. However, after this year I have found a little niche in some macro practices. I am sure that next year too will have it's share of macro lessons, since I have learned that social work is never black and white. When there is micro there is always macro and vice versa.

Do Not Rid Yourself of First Year Baggage

So I discovered this week that all first year MSW books are HANDY and NECESSARY. Foundation year truly is a foundation for everything else social work related. Anyone who knows me will tell you that working in the clinical setting is quite honestly not my passion . I have nothing but the up most respect for clinicians, but I don't have the magic touch that clinicians do. Anywho, after my foundation year I stacked away all my books that dealt with clinical issues and didn't think much about them. Although, at one point they did cross my mind as I considered selling them. Fortunately I didn't sell my books and I recommend to all incoming students that you save EVERYTHING, all books, papers, assignments, notes....everything. Last night I went down to my bookcase in my garage and retrieved all my dusty first year books to review information on various clinical intervention. I am going through all this trouble because I am interviewing for jobs and clinical skills are critical for any social worker even if we are interviewing for macro positions.

MIDTERMS, MIDTERMS, MIDTERMS!

My life right now is all about midterms. Acknowledging them, working on them and completing them. For some reason, I feel that the midterm phase appears extremely long and drawn out this semester. I feel as if I have been working my midterms for well over a month now. This is probably do to spring break and starting midterms early. At this point I still have two midterms left, one in research and one in behavior. Research appears to be giving me the most stress but it should be all over and done with by Thursday evening. After this I will work on a small assignment for seminar and then move on to my final midterm. I am so ready for this phase to be over and to begin preparing to finals. It will soon all be over and I will be able to take a much needed summer break that does not involve papers, midterms, finals, etc.. Can't wait!

My first AA Meeting

Today I attended my 1st AA meeting! As an assignment in my seminar class I was required to attend a self help group meeting and write about my experience. I felt really enthusiastic about the assignment from the day it was assigned because I had never had the opportunity to watch this type of group in real life. I felt so excited and had no idea what to expect. To make things easy, I choose to Google AA meetings since they are held in every location multiple times a day. Surprisingly, the search was very simple and took minutes. I found several open meetings located at convenient times no more than 2 miles from my house. Perfect!

Hesitant to go alone, I had my friend, and fellow MSW colleague accompany me to the meeting. It was held at a local hospital, and was more difficult to find than I had anticipated. After getting completely lost and asking at least 5 hospital staff to point us in the direction of the AA meeting, we stumbled in about 10 minutes late. There were about 15 women sitting in a circle listening to one who was reading from a book. We were quickly asked to introduce ourselves and explain the reason we had decided to attend. We explained that we were MSW students and were there to observe the group process. All group members welcomed us with warm "hellos" and a few hugs. It was a very safe and warm environment. Each member had an opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings with one another, and all were very respectful and supportive. There was a coffee break and time for chatting. Overall, it was a very positive and welcoming experience. I would not hesitate to go again.

Wow...only 7 more weeks of school before Summer!

I remember sitting at my kitchen table when I was a child, thinking I hate school. The work seemed rather boring and I would much rather be out playing with my friends. I never thought I would be living in Los Angeles going to grad school by choice. I am person who has never gotten straight A's and was always jealous of the people who seemed to always get good grades without even trying. But now as I sit here reflecting on the time passed over the last 7 months, it begins to dawn on me how far I have come. The actual work, such as papers, and reading is hard alone, bring in one's field practicum and you have entered a new level of stress and challenge. As I stated in my previous post it seems like just yesterday I was walking on campus for the first time as a newly admitted grad student and now in 7 weeks I will be done with my first year. Time flies when your having fun and working harder than you ever have. I have been asked by many people if grad school is a lot harder than undergrad? My answer is simple...HECK YES!!! I don't mean to scare anyone; this is not my intention. However, the reading, the papers and fieldwork can be overwhelming at times. It is hard, but it is interesting and challenging, but it does help that I truly am passionate about social justice and I love learning about all different kinds of people. I tend to lean towards the micro level of social work I enjoy working with people and doing one on one work, however, this program seems to be giving me a taste of the macro side. I enjoy being an advocate and doing some macro level activities such lobbying, and drafting new initiatives to already formulated policies. It is something I never thought about before I came to USC. So yes, the work is hard, and challenging because it makes you challenge your own ideas, and create new pathways of thinking about the injustices faced by many.
Spring break is over, and there are 7 more weeks to learn before the summer break. I wonder what I will discover next.

Placement!

Currently, I am working at a family based agency. My job as an intern is to participate in therapy, co facilitate a group, conduct a social/emotional group for preschool children, document visits, manage paper work, participate in case presentation, and start a teen group on violence. There is plenty to do and I feel that I am getting a broad range of experience. At times I do get worried as to whether I will complete paper work on time and I still get overwhelmed but despite this I am getting great experience. I also have a great field instructor who challenges the interns. Whenever we ask a question it would seem that she refers the question back to us. She tries to get us to think on our own and find the answers for ourselves before she instructs us. At my placement we are seen as peers/colleagues, not just interns. We are told that we all have something to offer the agency and to feel free to express concerns. It is a very positive atmosphere that is strength based. I really feel that I lucked out this semester with my placement and I am so happy to be there.

Spring Break is over! :(

Spring Break went by so quickly and now it's over! So sad! Of course I did not do much work during the break because I went home to visit family and now I have a lot of homework to do. It's a bit overwhelming right now as I look at the time. It is around 2:30 and still I have been unable to motivate myself to do work. I imagine it will be a long night and a long week but it was worth it. I was able to go home, rest, relax and rejuvenate to prepare for my next two midterms. Also it was a nice little break to get you through the next six weeks which should fly by. It's almost over and yet there is still so much to do.

Spring Break is over! :(

Spring Break went by so quickly and now it's over! So sad! Of course I did not do much work during the break because I went home to visit family and now I have a lot of homework to do. It's a bit overwhelming right now as I look at the time. It is around 2:30 and still I have been unable to motivate myself to do work. I imagine it will be a long night and a long week but it was worth it. I was able to go home, rest, relax and rejuvenate to prepare for my next two midterms. Also it was a nice little break to get you through the next six weeks which should fly by. It's almost over and yet there is still so much to do.

time flies

spring break is almost over...and I am sad

My "No Break" Spring Break

So, as it turns out my spring break hasn't turned out to be what I expected.... actually it hasn't been a break at all to be completely honest. Last week was brutal as I completed papers for midterms and studied for my economics exam. Then, on Friday I had a job fair....the Friday that I "supposed" to sleep in. Then over the weekend I spent my time preparing for the Latino/a Social Work Caucus Silent auction because I am the committee chair. During that time I did squeeze in some fun ...but nevertheless there just isn't a real break. I also had to make recruitment calls during the weekend for my research assistant job. In addition, to all of the abovementioned I have internship this Monday and Wednesday and as it turns out I have two job interviews in the next week which I completely didn't expect. Now I find myself doing research to be prepared for my interviews and I've been polishing my CV and resume. However, I am yearning for a break! Seriously, this weekend I really need at least one day where I do NOTHING related to school, work, or internship.

Spring Break! Finally....

So Spring Break is finally here! With three huge midterm papers due on the same day I almost thought I wouldn't make it. I had a 15 pg. paper due in policy, a 15 page paper due in practice, and a 6 pg. scholarly analysis due in human behavior. I think I sat at my computer for an entire week straight. In my entire academic career, I have never felt pressure like I did this past week. Needless to say, Spring Break came at the perfect time. All I've done so far is shop, rent movies, and lay by the pool in this beautiful 87 degree So. Cal. weather. I love it! Time to rest up before the final stretch of final papers. I finally had an opportunity to get my hair done, spend time with my grandparents, and hang out with my friends from high school. This weekend was just what I needed. Unfortunately, the rest of the week will be a little more stressful since I have to go to internship on Mon and Wed, and write another long research paper that's due by Fri., but at least I won't have to go to class. I'm honestly a little burnt out on school right now. I just need to get through the next 7 weeks, and the nice, long summer break will soon be here!

Job Searching

I have officially entered the stage in the graduating student’s life know as, “oh dear, I have to find a job…no seriously I have to find a job.” Yesterday, I attended the job fair that is open to graduating MSW student in the local area. The experience was an interesting one. I was able to scope out who my competition is and I was able to distinguish what makes USC students different from student from other MSW programs. I found that the fact that we have an array of concentrations and dual degree programs really allows us to distinguish ourselves.

The job fair was pretty interesting, and I found a few positions that I am truly interested in. So, I have spent the last three hours revamping my resume and my curriculum vitae, and I submitted my application materials for one of those positions. I was really happy to find at least two positions that will allow me to continue doing research as it is one of my passions and two that would allow me to conduct research within the Latino/a community, which is an area that I am highly interested in. However, I seriously do not feel like I’m on spring break as I sit here and try to strategize about my job seeking process. I even developed a job position excel worksheet to track the status of the various jobs I’m applying for and the requirements of the job. I have come to realize that finding a job that truly fits my interests is particularly challenging because we can do so much as social workers. I have found myself at a cross roads professionally speaking because I can take the research route, the clinical route, or the public administration route, and I just can’t choose so I decided to apply to at least two jobs that fit in each of the abovementioned categories, and then I’ll take it from there.

I finally figured it out!!!

Today is not just another day for me. After 6 months of being in Southern California I finally figured out how to use 5 freeways, the 110. 101, 10, 5, and 405. I am so excited. Being from out of town is a bit intimidating at first, especially with California drivers. I used to put on my blinker to get into another lane in anticipation that someone would let me in...now I just simply put on my blinker and move in. Defensive driving is an essential part of the transportation system in L.A.
In other news, totally unrelated to driving I met with my field liaison and my field supervisor to evaluate my performance in my placement. I was a little nervous but all went well. I had great feedback that basically affirmed that social work is the right profession for me. I am really enjoying my placement. I am working with low income families and my clients ages range from 11-26 years old. I was pretty lucky to get the population demographics that I am interested in since you don't get to choose your first placement. Working with this population has been challenging at times don't get me wrong. I have a great supervisor who is always available when I need her. However, the best advice that I have received yet is to seek your own therapy when issues come up. My advisor called the MSW program an "emotional boot camp". Something I did not understand until I experienced my own counter transference with a client. It has been hard for me to work with this population. Even though it is my chosen profession does not mean that I have it all together. I grew up in a upper middle class family, and had the privileges that many Americans dream of. Therefore, becoming culturally competent with severely impoverished families was a struggle, it was something I had never seen being that I live in a suburb of a larger city but not as large as Los Angeles by any means. It is okay to struggle with your own issues as long as you identify them, self-awareness is a tool that I have come to utilize and it has gotten me through some really tough times.

Information Overload!

Hey All,

I just wanted to do a quick check-in as my time is limited at this point due to midterms. I have my economics exam which I have been preparing for over the past three weeks, and its time to take it today. I hope all goes well, but seriously I have overloaded my poor lil' brain with postmodern microeconomics concepts that I probably won't be using after my exam. Anywho, I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on a harsh week that is almost over. Once I get through today, I will be home free but til' then I have to continue reviewing what seem to be endless notes on econ. : )

My long day! And a plug for the Out of Towner Support Group!

Do you know the feeling when you just can' t seem to get in the right mindset to write an important paper?? It's one I'm struggling with right now! I have a research paper due on Friday, and I've only written 2 out of the 7 pages! I need to find my motivation to do it since it's Tuesday already!!! Tonight, I want to write 2 more, and then 2 more on Wednesday, so that on Thursday, I can wrap it up, make a conclusion, and have a good paper! Today has just been a long day! In my policy class, we turned in our midterm paper, which I was really pleased with. (Although now since it's turned in...I should move onto the next part of my work for policy...composing personalized letters to send to California's state senators!) Then after that, I had an Out of Towners Group meeting, which was a lot of fun!

The Out of Towner's group was formed to help make "out of town" social work students feel more at home, connect an awesome group of people, and figre out how to get around Los Angeles! This group was a HUGE help when I first came to USC. Moving here without knowing anyone was scary, but getting to know people who were in the same boat REALLY helped. I was immediately connected with a bunch of people that I could easily relate to, since we all just moved far away from family and friends. In any case, at our meeting today, we were given a map, and we had to identify a bunch of cities!! It was a really fun game, despite the fact I lost. Oops! I've managed somehow thought right? :o) Then after that, we talked about one of our activies coming up (we're taking a tour of LA at night! We're going to locate some hot spots/highways/and hang out!) and then our leaders lead a great discussion about what is going on for us in our lives. We have two wonderful second year students that are leading the group. They are so supportive, accessible, and just all around winners. If you are coming to USC and are unfamiliar with the area and are looking to meet some cool people, I think joining the Out of Towners group is a good idea!

After the meeting, then I had to go to my next class...practice, where we had a guest speaker come in. The speaker was a leader of a battered women's shelter in the area, so it was really interesting hearing about her experience and the work she's done. She was also a great professional friend to make! (think about the job possibilities in the future! connections, connections!) Next, I booked on over to the main campus to have a meeting with the dean about some of the organizations on campus. I just got home, quickly ate some left overs, and am now onto homework! Woo!! What busy day for me! 12 hours long of stuff! :o) Get ready kids, this is quite the ride, but it's a lot of fun.

The perfect Balancing Act!!!

This past weekend was lovely. I had a friend come into town and enjoyed a weekend full of fun. However, I neglected my readings, my papers and my other responsibilities. It was fun to take some time and entertain a friend while she was in town, but trying to play catch up is a lot harder than it looks. With spring break nearing it seems all the papers are due and the pressure is on to get it all done. There seems to be a never-ending amount of reading to be done and as many professors will tell you, sometimes all you can do is triage the readings. I understand that having a perfect balance is almost impossible but it seems having a healthy balance is almost required. I have heard many of peers say that they too feel obligated to entertain their friends when in town and feel guilty it they put their education before their peers, however does it have to be this black and white? Can you not have the best of both worlds? It seems to me that after a weekend full of fun and no work it is something that I too need to work on. Grad school is demanding, the amount of work is a lot more than undergrad and sometimes I feel as if all I do is work, work, and more work, but when I play...I play hard. I suppose there needs to be a balance between play time and work time.
Often times I talk to my clients about balance, yet I forget to practice it myself. Sometimes following your own advice is the best feedback ever. This week is filled with reading, papers and fieldwork, which means that it is time to get down to business and work towards a better tomorrow. A lesson has been learned today, that if I play hard all weekend the following week is going to be filled with anxiety, headaches and plain old exhaustion. The next time a friend comes into town, I think it best to enjoy some quality time together but plan a head the week before and make sure that my goals are attainable for the following week. Playtime is great fun but make up time is simply NOT!!!

Spring Break is Near I can feel it!

So Spring Break start Friday and I am so excited for the time off from school. This semester is brutal. This week alone is crazy. I am working on a teen violence group for my placement, my policy paper is due tomorrow along with a presentation, my scholar analysis is due tomorrow for behavior, I have to work on my 12 page practice paper that is due on Friday, my research quiz and design assignment is due Thursday and on top of all this I have people visiting me all this week. Craziness, absolutely crazy. At this point I'd say I am a bit stressed. I find myself talking really fast and loud, as if this is suppose to ease my suffering. Anyways, it will all get done eventually, it's just a matter of how much I will end up torturing myself by waiting till the last minute. (DO NOT WAIT UNTIL THE NIGHT BEFORE TO DO A PAPER). Very stressful! I digress, like I said before it will be over soon and I will be able to relax for a bit, catch up on some homework and have a little fun. Can't wait but for now it's back to work!

Up late and thinking

Up late with my friend, and only a third way through my goals for the night. Why do I do that....set my goals way too high? I guess if I didn't, I wouldn't get anything done.

Anyways, I was speaking to my friend...who is at the moment sitting across from me...at 3am...stressed as I am. She is in the Mental Health Concentration. We came to realize and were amazed that we really are studying immensely different topics. Currently, she's writing a paper on eating disorders and I'm writing one on reinventing the government.

I know they say, "in the end, it doesn't matter which concentration you choose," but I think it really does matter. It matters because our education takes such different paths. Therefore, it makes it that much more important to TAKE THE TIME to ask yourself: "where do my interests lie, what would challenge me, and in what concentration would I learn the most?"

A mentor told us...pick a concentration that is in a topic that you like so much you definitely wouldn't mind studying more of it, or go into a concentration that you are interested in but know nothing about so that you're challenged. I chose the challenge route...and I have to say that since then, there has not been one day that has gone by, where I regret making that decision....GO COPA!!!!

SPRING BREAK is almost here!

It is finally Friday and the week before spring break is almost here. There are a lot papers due this coming week and that can be stressful at times, but just thinking about spring break seems to get me through it. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy writing papers because we get to choose our topics and that makes it quite enjoyable, however a break is much needed too. I am fortunate that my field has allowed work two Friday’s so that I can take the week off and go home. Being so far away from home is hard sometimes. Yet, it seems we have a break every 3 months where we can go home or take a break from school for a long weekend and enjoy the sunny weather and take some time out for ourselves.
Anyways, as spring break approaches due dates for papers are fast approaching. I cannot believe that we are almost 3/4 of the way done with the 2006-2007 school year. It seems like just yesterday I was packing up my car and making the long drive to L.A. I remember the day that I left feeling so scared that I would not make any friends and that the year would go by so slow. WOW...was I wrong, it seems like the year has just flown by and as for friends everywhere I walk on campus I run into someone I know. It is such a great feeling to know that you are not alone and that everyone is on your team. The year is not over but it soon will be and the thought of not seeing these people of the summer has a bit of a "bummer" feeling. It is amazing how close you get with these people when you are in classes twice a week with them and many of you are experiencing the same feelings. Life turns out to be pretty wonderful sometimes. :)

Done with financial aid! (well...almost!)

Today was a great day because I turned in all my forms to the financial aid office! Early in the week, I completed my FAFSA on-line, and then today, I just had to turn in my tax returns and my supplemental financial aid form for graduate students. Standing in line is kind of a pain, but it only took twenty minutes, which wasn't too unbearable! :o) When I got to the front of the line and gave her my forms, she asked me for my W2....the one thing I DIDN'T have. Boo! So tomorrow, my Mom is going to be the best mom ever and fax it in for me. Of course, tomorrow is the deadline, and I'm sure the fax line will be packed, but hopefully it will all work out! I'm just glad it's done and I've turned it (well most of it!) in! Thank goodness! Financial aid is a lot of work, and sometimes it's a little stressful because you have so many other things you have to do too. But it's a part of the USC graduate experience! Or if you are really lucky and don't have to deal with financial aid...well...let me know...we can talk about how you are going to help me fund this expensive endeavor! Of course, it's all worth it. There are moments when you panic for a few seconds, thinking "Oh my goodness, I'm never going to pay this all back! It's going to take YEARS!" and then you go, "Yeah, but I've learned so much, and I'm really happy I'm at one of the top ten institutions in the nation." At least, that's what works for me. :o) My advice for you though is to get it done as quickly as possible, when you aren't busy with work. The FAFSA form only takes about an hour the first time you do it...but luckily for me, I just had to basically renew my last one, so it took like...10 minutes! Small victories people! Hahaha. Just stay on top of everything and it's manageable. You'll get it done...we always do. Just try to do it with as little stress as possible!

All in a weeks work

What can I say...I'm just so tired, I can't wait till I'm done, just so I can sleep. My list is getting smaller....Yay!!!

School
TAY: March 6th
Visit Guardian Scholars
Policy: March 8th
Psycho: March 8th

Student Org
Social Work Month
Lobby Days

Internship
Email Contact from PC
Develop Survey of Skid Row MH
CIMH (CalWORKs)

Extracurricular
State Hospital training March 14th

Highlights of the week: Watch an amazing movie called "Juvies" in TAY....Hosted an awesome Brown Bag on the Recovery Model (DMH and the Village were great!...Go Recovery!)...Turned in leadership paper...Trainings at state hospital today went well...Finished very strong draft of my Skid Row Needs Assessment.

I have a lot to celebrate about...Now...I need sleep.

Talk About HUMP Day!!!

I never really understood the concept of HUMP day. I always asked myself, why do people call Wednesday “Hump Day”? What’s so wrong with Wednesdays? In hindsight, I realize that my naïve questions were based in my inexperience considering that I have never had a “real” job. So, as it turns out Wednesday is HUMP DAY! Wednesday is the most demanding day of my week, and I absolutely dread Wednesdays, and get so happy when my Wednesdays are over. On Wednesdays I spend ten hours at internship and then I go off to school for three and a half ours of lecture on economics. Overall, the combination of a long day at internship and a LONG class which I have little interest in just makes Wednesday my hump day.

The Dangerous Monotony of Internship

I'm afraid. Not the afraid you feel as you sit in suspense at the movie theater; the menancing soundtrack echoing in the background right before the killer enters the scene. And I am not experiencing the afraid you feel right before the dentist thrust the "deep cleaning" tool into the core of your abssessed tooth. The afraid I feel is more philosophical in a sense. I'm afraid that I am beginning to fall victim to the monotony of my internship here at Foshay Learning Center. Now don't get me wrong. I enjoy meeting with the five students I have work with for the past five months or so. I could have never imagined we would have accomplished the goals we have achieved thus far. But the other day as I sat there tirelessy typing out my weekly process recording, I got this strange feeling inside. It was a feeling that looked about two years down the road and asked, "Bobby, can you really see yourself doing this type of work for more than two years?" I sat there in silence. I didn't have an answer and I suddenly became worried. I'm suppose to like this right? I mean, I love working with students, meeting with teachers on the behalf of those students, holding parent conferences, and developing a new program with the assistant principal, right?

But, seriously how long would this PSW work stay "fresh" to me? I saw what the work had done to my supervisor and the director of the LA Bridges program. They both were now at home recovering after having major surgery to remove malignant tumors. Had this been caused by the stress of the work? Were they burnt out? Had they checked out and were ready to move on? To say I wasn't concern would be a lie.

But then after a few deep breaths and a sip of vitamin water, I relaxed and told myself that my stint at Foshay had in fact been a great training ground for preparing myself to work in schools upon receiving my Masters. I didn't have to do PSW work for life. Matter of fact, I didn't have to do PSW work at all if I didn't have the passion for it. And that's the undenibly sweet thing about the degree--it's flexibility. I could go on numerous job interviews until I found that school that would allow me to develop the creative writing program I want to develop. I could work in entertainment, or the army, or ER, or the workplace, or the corporate world. I had choices. And once I realized that, I smiled to myself and got back to work.

My Economics Midterm

Well everyone its official I'm working on mid-terms. Really though I'm not stressed out yet because I planned ahead for all my mid-terms except for my micro-economics class. I have learned that micro-economics is probably going to be the most challenging course that I will have completed during my Master's experience. It's crazy to acknowledge how many new concepts and theories of economics I have learned and its even crazier to think that I actually apply them. I was walking around the other day explaining to a fellow social worker how I believe that the economic concepts of supply and demand should be applied to social services, also I think I threw in the concept of diversification. I have found myself questioning the fiscal and economic implications of social service programs lately and then it hit me....I did learn something from Finance, Budgeting, and Economics!

Just an update on how yesterday turned out...

Yesterday can be viewed as a success!! While I did not end up watching the Oscars OR see any stars (I'm still waiting...I've been in LA for 6 months and I still have not spotted any stars!! But that's probably because I don't hang out in the right places...the school of social work isn't the hot spot for seeing Brad Pitt...although it IS conveniently located right across the Shrine Auditorium where PLENTY of award shows are hosted!) I did manage to write some of my policy midterm and do a lot of reading for my behavior class. It's crazy how much time I still waste, despite my extreme productivity. However, at least the work I'm doing is enjoyable and I definitely understand why it's necessary in earning a masters in social work. Like for instance, yesterday I learned that the most creative time of your life is during middle/older adulthood. And i thought i was pretty creative!! Haha. Oh the good things to come! I also learned that I have a high level of emotional intelligence, which I think most social workers must have, because it requires you to have a deep understanding of other people's feelings and integrating your own feelings into a way that allows you to get what others feel. (wow, i really hope I just gave you an accurate definition!) In any case, it's SO interesting, and I'm learning a ton. I just really wish that there was a way that by sleeping on my books, all the information would just transfer into my head! Osmosis! (Maybe? I don't really know...I wasn't the best at science...) In any case, school is challenging, yet fulfilling. And really, I had a great weekend. I got to explore West Hollywood with one of the coolest people in the program. I ate pie for breakfast on Saturday morning at this Farmer's Market on 3rd Street. Seriously, that's the kind of stuff you can only get away with when you are in a masters program. Yes, yes, life is good as a masters student. :o)

Research, research, research...it's all good.

I think one of the most dreaded courses for social work graduate students who are not remotely interested in pursuing a Ph. D degree at USC is research/program evaluation, aka 603, aka the class from h-e-double hockey sticks. The class is tedious. It requires long hours of reading and thumbing through articles pertaining to your topic of interest. It involves interviews with the adminstrative staff you work with. It involves Advil to allieviate those pounding headaches induced from stressful nights of typing one's life away via laptop or pc. And probably most of all, it involves patience and an understanding that this will somehow benefit you later in your professional lives.

Despite the critics and my own preconceived criticisms of 603, thus far the class as been plesantly educational. Sure, I have had the long nights of reading 8-point font PDF articles with bloodshot eyes and the throbbing headaches caused by plotting out my proposed program budget. I have even had my weekend battles with procrastination and annoyance. However, I am gradually beginning to realize that all of this God forsaken work has some sort of relevance. That all of my frustration and early adulthood carpal tunnel syndrome is not in vain. I am learning how to write clear and concise goals and outcome objectives and discuss the methods in which I used to accomplish such goals. I am learning how to use a Johnny Cochran type defense for my agency in the program design portion of my proposal, and prove to the money holders that their dollars will best be used in my school setting. I am even learning how write an organized budget outline of my personnel, operation costs, and in-kind donations (this is a big deal for me seeing how I have demonized mathematics since the 10th grade).

The key word here is that I am learning. I'm learning. I'm learning. I'm learning. And being that we as USC social work students are paying an astonishing $18/ per minute for class time(yes, it's true -- I had a friend do the math), learning, even if it is in 603 and taught by some of the toughest instructors known to man, is fine by me.

Research. Don't hate it, LEARN to embrace it.

Financial Aid...

It's crazy that in the heart of midterms, all of our financial aid stuff is due! We barely have enough time to keep up with our work, but we have to make time for this stuff! Luckily, we have a great friend in the financial aid office! Ms. Moody is extermely helpful and seems to know EVERYTHING about what to do! It's fantastic! Seriously, I e-mailed her stressed out, and she responded immediately and in a soothing fashion, I felt better! Filling out my FAFSA forms today is one of my goals. That and writing a paper. And watching the Oscars. Hahaha, we can all see what is going to take priority. Ha! Actually though, since I woke up so early, I really feel like I can accomplish everything I need to today! I know on Tuesday, I'll have a lot to do when I'm on campus, but I'll fit everything in...I have to! :o) That is one difficult thing about being a grad student and not living really close to everything. I still live close to campus (which...is great in the sense that I can walk to school, although it does take like 20 minutes to get there, but I don't have to deal with traffic or paying for parking! but bad in the sense that the area isn't the happenin' place that I want it to be.) but despite being close to campus, i still only want to BE there when I have class. And sometimes, it's difficult getting everything you need done on the two days you are on campus! So it's best to plan ahead so you won't have to make a million trips over there! In any case, with financial aid, turn your stuff in early so you won't have to worry! (I should really listen to my advice!) Fill out those annoying forms and be done with it! That's what I'm going to try to do! And maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll spot some movie stars, waltzing around my neighborhood (but more realistically, in a TV)! Go today!

Do you want to be a LEADER? Yes, No, Maybe So...

To my surprise, only 5 of 20 students raised their hand when the professor asked who wants to be a leader. As I was one of the five who raised a hand, it was difficult for me to comprehend why there were so few social work students who did not. After consulting with few of my classmates, I came to realize that being a leader "sounds" good, but it not necessarily the most desirable position. Leaders tend to work alone for long hours, and have to do everything possible to recruit and maintain followers. If that isn't enough, leaders are often ridiculed for making the slightest mistake, and are thus perceived as perfect. Moreover, leaders hold massive amounts of responsibilities. They are often stressed and under a lot of pressure.

Having acknowledged the cons of being a leader, I still aspire to be one. As a social work student, and soon to be professional social worker, I sense that there is a need for more social work leaders in order to implement the change that our nation needs. I believe that effective leadership qualities rest in the minds and souls of social workers. With the passion to advocate and the ability to empathize, communicate, and problem-solve, social workers are prime candidates for leadership positions and should therefore act on it!

Despite the deficits that come with being a leader, there are many more benefits. Such leaders as Martin L. King, Jr. and Susan B. Anthony have moved mountains in the social justice arena. Subsequent of their profound positions of leadership, I continue to follow them in hope of restoring justice, equality and freedom for all people.