The Dangerous Monotony of Internship

I'm afraid. Not the afraid you feel as you sit in suspense at the movie theater; the menancing soundtrack echoing in the background right before the killer enters the scene. And I am not experiencing the afraid you feel right before the dentist thrust the "deep cleaning" tool into the core of your abssessed tooth. The afraid I feel is more philosophical in a sense. I'm afraid that I am beginning to fall victim to the monotony of my internship here at Foshay Learning Center. Now don't get me wrong. I enjoy meeting with the five students I have work with for the past five months or so. I could have never imagined we would have accomplished the goals we have achieved thus far. But the other day as I sat there tirelessy typing out my weekly process recording, I got this strange feeling inside. It was a feeling that looked about two years down the road and asked, "Bobby, can you really see yourself doing this type of work for more than two years?" I sat there in silence. I didn't have an answer and I suddenly became worried. I'm suppose to like this right? I mean, I love working with students, meeting with teachers on the behalf of those students, holding parent conferences, and developing a new program with the assistant principal, right?

But, seriously how long would this PSW work stay "fresh" to me? I saw what the work had done to my supervisor and the director of the LA Bridges program. They both were now at home recovering after having major surgery to remove malignant tumors. Had this been caused by the stress of the work? Were they burnt out? Had they checked out and were ready to move on? To say I wasn't concern would be a lie.

But then after a few deep breaths and a sip of vitamin water, I relaxed and told myself that my stint at Foshay had in fact been a great training ground for preparing myself to work in schools upon receiving my Masters. I didn't have to do PSW work for life. Matter of fact, I didn't have to do PSW work at all if I didn't have the passion for it. And that's the undenibly sweet thing about the degree--it's flexibility. I could go on numerous job interviews until I found that school that would allow me to develop the creative writing program I want to develop. I could work in entertainment, or the army, or ER, or the workplace, or the corporate world. I had choices. And once I realized that, I smiled to myself and got back to work.