Why do people who choose their jobs over their families choose to have families in the first place? I might not be so mad about this except that it affects my sister and nephews' psychological welfare. Times like this truly remind me that when issues are close to home, it becomes incredibly hard to remain objective. Being a social worker, I naturally want to fix things...especially my family...and I can't fix my family. It frustrates me that I work daily to help people discover themselves and to live holistic healthy lives, and the lives I care about the most are the ones I feel powerless over. I don't like to see the ones I love hurt...who does?
It's even worse that I have become my family's keeper...everyone comes to me and I carry the burden, because in reality, I don't have problems like they have problems. I don't have husbands or wives. I don't have children who are applying for college or mortgages to pay, I don't have parents to support or businesses to run. So when they come to me needing help, I can't say no. I feel guilty saying no. I can't give much, but I can give my mind and my time, and considering how much they've given me, I don't feel like I should say no. This causes problems...like, decreasing the amount of time I have to spend on my school work which inevitably results in increased stress and probably several years off my life span, but I deal with it. In the scheme of the thing called LIFE, what's more important: my family or my grades? I pick my family, time and time again...and I imagine that I'll continue to do so.
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