All in a weeks work

What can I say...I'm just so tired, I can't wait till I'm done, just so I can sleep. My list is getting smaller....Yay!!!

School
TAY: March 6th
Visit Guardian Scholars
Policy: March 8th
Psycho: March 8th

Student Org
Social Work Month
Lobby Days

Internship
Email Contact from PC
Develop Survey of Skid Row MH
CIMH (CalWORKs)

Extracurricular
State Hospital training March 14th

Highlights of the week: Watch an amazing movie called "Juvies" in TAY....Hosted an awesome Brown Bag on the Recovery Model (DMH and the Village were great!...Go Recovery!)...Turned in leadership paper...Trainings at state hospital today went well...Finished very strong draft of my Skid Row Needs Assessment.

I have a lot to celebrate about...Now...I need sleep.

Talk About HUMP Day!!!

I never really understood the concept of HUMP day. I always asked myself, why do people call Wednesday “Hump Day”? What’s so wrong with Wednesdays? In hindsight, I realize that my naïve questions were based in my inexperience considering that I have never had a “real” job. So, as it turns out Wednesday is HUMP DAY! Wednesday is the most demanding day of my week, and I absolutely dread Wednesdays, and get so happy when my Wednesdays are over. On Wednesdays I spend ten hours at internship and then I go off to school for three and a half ours of lecture on economics. Overall, the combination of a long day at internship and a LONG class which I have little interest in just makes Wednesday my hump day.

The Dangerous Monotony of Internship

I'm afraid. Not the afraid you feel as you sit in suspense at the movie theater; the menancing soundtrack echoing in the background right before the killer enters the scene. And I am not experiencing the afraid you feel right before the dentist thrust the "deep cleaning" tool into the core of your abssessed tooth. The afraid I feel is more philosophical in a sense. I'm afraid that I am beginning to fall victim to the monotony of my internship here at Foshay Learning Center. Now don't get me wrong. I enjoy meeting with the five students I have work with for the past five months or so. I could have never imagined we would have accomplished the goals we have achieved thus far. But the other day as I sat there tirelessy typing out my weekly process recording, I got this strange feeling inside. It was a feeling that looked about two years down the road and asked, "Bobby, can you really see yourself doing this type of work for more than two years?" I sat there in silence. I didn't have an answer and I suddenly became worried. I'm suppose to like this right? I mean, I love working with students, meeting with teachers on the behalf of those students, holding parent conferences, and developing a new program with the assistant principal, right?

But, seriously how long would this PSW work stay "fresh" to me? I saw what the work had done to my supervisor and the director of the LA Bridges program. They both were now at home recovering after having major surgery to remove malignant tumors. Had this been caused by the stress of the work? Were they burnt out? Had they checked out and were ready to move on? To say I wasn't concern would be a lie.

But then after a few deep breaths and a sip of vitamin water, I relaxed and told myself that my stint at Foshay had in fact been a great training ground for preparing myself to work in schools upon receiving my Masters. I didn't have to do PSW work for life. Matter of fact, I didn't have to do PSW work at all if I didn't have the passion for it. And that's the undenibly sweet thing about the degree--it's flexibility. I could go on numerous job interviews until I found that school that would allow me to develop the creative writing program I want to develop. I could work in entertainment, or the army, or ER, or the workplace, or the corporate world. I had choices. And once I realized that, I smiled to myself and got back to work.

My Economics Midterm

Well everyone its official I'm working on mid-terms. Really though I'm not stressed out yet because I planned ahead for all my mid-terms except for my micro-economics class. I have learned that micro-economics is probably going to be the most challenging course that I will have completed during my Master's experience. It's crazy to acknowledge how many new concepts and theories of economics I have learned and its even crazier to think that I actually apply them. I was walking around the other day explaining to a fellow social worker how I believe that the economic concepts of supply and demand should be applied to social services, also I think I threw in the concept of diversification. I have found myself questioning the fiscal and economic implications of social service programs lately and then it hit me....I did learn something from Finance, Budgeting, and Economics!

Just an update on how yesterday turned out...

Yesterday can be viewed as a success!! While I did not end up watching the Oscars OR see any stars (I'm still waiting...I've been in LA for 6 months and I still have not spotted any stars!! But that's probably because I don't hang out in the right places...the school of social work isn't the hot spot for seeing Brad Pitt...although it IS conveniently located right across the Shrine Auditorium where PLENTY of award shows are hosted!) I did manage to write some of my policy midterm and do a lot of reading for my behavior class. It's crazy how much time I still waste, despite my extreme productivity. However, at least the work I'm doing is enjoyable and I definitely understand why it's necessary in earning a masters in social work. Like for instance, yesterday I learned that the most creative time of your life is during middle/older adulthood. And i thought i was pretty creative!! Haha. Oh the good things to come! I also learned that I have a high level of emotional intelligence, which I think most social workers must have, because it requires you to have a deep understanding of other people's feelings and integrating your own feelings into a way that allows you to get what others feel. (wow, i really hope I just gave you an accurate definition!) In any case, it's SO interesting, and I'm learning a ton. I just really wish that there was a way that by sleeping on my books, all the information would just transfer into my head! Osmosis! (Maybe? I don't really know...I wasn't the best at science...) In any case, school is challenging, yet fulfilling. And really, I had a great weekend. I got to explore West Hollywood with one of the coolest people in the program. I ate pie for breakfast on Saturday morning at this Farmer's Market on 3rd Street. Seriously, that's the kind of stuff you can only get away with when you are in a masters program. Yes, yes, life is good as a masters student. :o)

Research, research, research...it's all good.

I think one of the most dreaded courses for social work graduate students who are not remotely interested in pursuing a Ph. D degree at USC is research/program evaluation, aka 603, aka the class from h-e-double hockey sticks. The class is tedious. It requires long hours of reading and thumbing through articles pertaining to your topic of interest. It involves interviews with the adminstrative staff you work with. It involves Advil to allieviate those pounding headaches induced from stressful nights of typing one's life away via laptop or pc. And probably most of all, it involves patience and an understanding that this will somehow benefit you later in your professional lives.

Despite the critics and my own preconceived criticisms of 603, thus far the class as been plesantly educational. Sure, I have had the long nights of reading 8-point font PDF articles with bloodshot eyes and the throbbing headaches caused by plotting out my proposed program budget. I have even had my weekend battles with procrastination and annoyance. However, I am gradually beginning to realize that all of this God forsaken work has some sort of relevance. That all of my frustration and early adulthood carpal tunnel syndrome is not in vain. I am learning how to write clear and concise goals and outcome objectives and discuss the methods in which I used to accomplish such goals. I am learning how to use a Johnny Cochran type defense for my agency in the program design portion of my proposal, and prove to the money holders that their dollars will best be used in my school setting. I am even learning how write an organized budget outline of my personnel, operation costs, and in-kind donations (this is a big deal for me seeing how I have demonized mathematics since the 10th grade).

The key word here is that I am learning. I'm learning. I'm learning. I'm learning. And being that we as USC social work students are paying an astonishing $18/ per minute for class time(yes, it's true -- I had a friend do the math), learning, even if it is in 603 and taught by some of the toughest instructors known to man, is fine by me.

Research. Don't hate it, LEARN to embrace it.

Financial Aid...

It's crazy that in the heart of midterms, all of our financial aid stuff is due! We barely have enough time to keep up with our work, but we have to make time for this stuff! Luckily, we have a great friend in the financial aid office! Ms. Moody is extermely helpful and seems to know EVERYTHING about what to do! It's fantastic! Seriously, I e-mailed her stressed out, and she responded immediately and in a soothing fashion, I felt better! Filling out my FAFSA forms today is one of my goals. That and writing a paper. And watching the Oscars. Hahaha, we can all see what is going to take priority. Ha! Actually though, since I woke up so early, I really feel like I can accomplish everything I need to today! I know on Tuesday, I'll have a lot to do when I'm on campus, but I'll fit everything in...I have to! :o) That is one difficult thing about being a grad student and not living really close to everything. I still live close to campus (which...is great in the sense that I can walk to school, although it does take like 20 minutes to get there, but I don't have to deal with traffic or paying for parking! but bad in the sense that the area isn't the happenin' place that I want it to be.) but despite being close to campus, i still only want to BE there when I have class. And sometimes, it's difficult getting everything you need done on the two days you are on campus! So it's best to plan ahead so you won't have to make a million trips over there! In any case, with financial aid, turn your stuff in early so you won't have to worry! (I should really listen to my advice!) Fill out those annoying forms and be done with it! That's what I'm going to try to do! And maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll spot some movie stars, waltzing around my neighborhood (but more realistically, in a TV)! Go today!

Do you want to be a LEADER? Yes, No, Maybe So...

To my surprise, only 5 of 20 students raised their hand when the professor asked who wants to be a leader. As I was one of the five who raised a hand, it was difficult for me to comprehend why there were so few social work students who did not. After consulting with few of my classmates, I came to realize that being a leader "sounds" good, but it not necessarily the most desirable position. Leaders tend to work alone for long hours, and have to do everything possible to recruit and maintain followers. If that isn't enough, leaders are often ridiculed for making the slightest mistake, and are thus perceived as perfect. Moreover, leaders hold massive amounts of responsibilities. They are often stressed and under a lot of pressure.

Having acknowledged the cons of being a leader, I still aspire to be one. As a social work student, and soon to be professional social worker, I sense that there is a need for more social work leaders in order to implement the change that our nation needs. I believe that effective leadership qualities rest in the minds and souls of social workers. With the passion to advocate and the ability to empathize, communicate, and problem-solve, social workers are prime candidates for leadership positions and should therefore act on it!

Despite the deficits that come with being a leader, there are many more benefits. Such leaders as Martin L. King, Jr. and Susan B. Anthony have moved mountains in the social justice arena. Subsequent of their profound positions of leadership, I continue to follow them in hope of restoring justice, equality and freedom for all people.

Everything Changes Except Change Itself

I have witnessed numerous changes since attending the USC School of Social Work. From being the first class to try group projects in practice classes to relocating to the Downtown Center in my final semester. New faculty have joined the school of social work, and the curriculum is continuously modified. Because there are so many changes, you will commonly hear students say, "We are the guinea pigs."

We all know that change is inevitable. However, change can bring about feelings of frustration, irritation, pain, and all sorts of challenges. As a student at the USC School of Social Work, it's best to put your "adaptability", "flexibility", and "advocate" hat on in order to prepare for the unforeseen changes. In order to ensure that your graduate school experience is fulfilling, have courage to confront the changes that are unfavorable and develop a stance for what you believe will benefit you as a graduate student preparing for the world of social work!

TGIF!

I love Fridays. It is the easiest day of the week as far as school is concerned. Despite waking up at 6am, Friday is great. There is always parking on the street, classes are shorter, I'm out by noon and I have the whole day to relax and rest. Usually after classes I go to the gym and work out all the tension and stress that I build up over the week. Once I'm done, it is back onto the freeway for a delightful 15minute ride home. The great thing about going home at noon is that there is no traffic. While at home, I can truly relax. It is time to catch up on some TV, check my e-mail and take a nap. Friday's are so wonderful. I do not have to worry about school the follow day and there is never any guilt around not doing homework on Friday. Friday is the day to rest, relax and take it easy.

The Results are in!

Last week I was extremely stressed about my research exam. I spent the week prior, studying and stressing and then studying some more. The night before the exam I was completely tired from placement and working that night but I had to study. At about 11pm I started studying until 2:00am. I woke up early the next day to study before the exam and still I was nervous. So a week later the exams are in and the professor is ready to hand them back. She approached me today and stated that she needs to talk to me. Of course at this point I assumed I failed and she needed to talk to me after class. I figured we would need to have a long discussion about how I will need to bring up my grade. In reality she just wanted to tell me that she lost the scrap paper I used during the exam. It's amazing how we can sometimes jump to conclusions and except the worst. As I am writing and looking back on the situation I can not help but feel silly. Sometimes we know more than we think we do and are prepared for challenges that are in front of us. The problem is that we may not believe in ourselves. We just need to have a little faith in our own capabilities. We are all able to do the work, despite the challenge and how impossible it may seem sometimes. It's just a matter of trusting that you are in graduate school for a reason, not because they made a mistake in admissions but because you deserve to be here! In the end, I got a B+ on my research exam! All that worrying for nothing! :)

To Do's

I am so stressed out it's not even funny. Two weeks ago I was sitting around bummed that I didn't have more to do and now I regret being proactive and looking for work.

To Do:
Transitional Age Youth Class: Visit Guardian Scholars, paper due March 6th.
Community Practice for Social Change: Organize my NIMBY stuff
Leadership: Paper due Feb 27th.
COPA Policy: Paper due March 8th
Psychopathology: In class midterm March 8th

Internship:
Work on staff line item descriptions
Assess previous study on Health Coordination of Skid Row
Draw up needs assessment for Mental Health Coordination of Skid Row
Possibly gather data for CIMH Families study

School:
Organize Mental Health Recovery Brown Bag
Continue to work on rally and sign ups for Lobby Days
Social Work Month: March 6th

Extra:
Gather outline of Motivational Interviewing for training at state hospital.
Assist with training at state hospital.
Visit Pacific Clinics Asian Pacific Islander Unit.
FIND OUT WHAT THE HECK I WANT TO DO IN LIFE!!!!

The Fruits Of My Labor

Well as most of you know I'm a macro-level intern. One of the major challenges that I have found in macro-level social work is connecting my contributions to the well-being of my clients. However, today I was able to see the fruit of my labor and man was I EXCITED! One of the projects that I was working on was the development of a marketing and recruitment packet. Initially, when I was assigned to the project I was perplexed by the purpose of the assignment, but it became clear to me that I would be able to develop a tool that would allow the department's goal of recruiting the best psychiatrists possible. So I was able to work on the recruitment packet development team and seeing the final product was an awesome experience. Of course it was like a four month process....but everything takes a lil' longer in the public sector. Anywho, it was so rewarding to see what I had contributed to the department I am interning in, and it is nice to see that my contribution will remain even after I leave my place of internship.

Step by step

As midterms are quickly approaching, I noticed that I need more time to really focus! The past two nights, I have been writing a couple pages of my paper that's due next week. By tonight, it should be finished! I really like taking things one step at a time. That way, I don't feel overwhelmed or lots of pressure because I have given myself enough time to do it! Organization is a key factor in really succeeding at grad school...and keeping your mind straight! I have scheduled my time in a way that I have small goals to reach every day. Compartmentalizing (a social work term!) keeps everything managable! I'm nervous about a test in my research class this Friday, but I reviewed my notes for it on Monday and plan on studying for a majority of the day tomorrow. I keep reminding myself that everything will get done. Sometimes it's hard to see the end when there are so many papers in sight! But no matter what, doing a little bit each day is better than waiting until the last minute. I still don't get a lot of sleep (probably about 6 hours every night), but I'm definitely keeping a clear head!

Time is going by so quickly!

I can not believe that is it already time for Midterms. I feel as if I just started school yesterday. Compared to last semester this semester is flying by. There is much more work and the internships are putting the interns to work considering their is really not much time left. It all can be overwhelming and intimating. On the other hand, once the semester is over I will be able to look back at all that I accomplished. I must say, I am looking forward to that as well as the four months of summer which will allow we to rest and prepare for next year! :) Graduate school is definitely an experience that challenges you as a person and promotes growth within you.

too much to do!

So today I'm starting to feel more and more anxious about all the up coming work I need to do. Midterms are approaching on me and I do not understand how I am going to get all this work done including all the required reading. At times I think it is physically impossible. I am already so tired and so drained that I can not stay up late to finish it all and yet that is what I am doing. (or at least trying to do) Okay, so now that i vented, reality is setting in. You do what you can when you can. You take advantage of the time that you do have and make the most of it. So what that means is if you have a break in between classes or if you can read on the bus, take advantage of this time because it adds up. You will be surprised. Also, as far as the reading, you learn to prioritize and accomplish what you can at that time. You can always go back later and bush up on readings but when it's midterm time, prioritizing is probably what is going to get you through it!

Self care is important too!

Since I'm not a California native, exploring California is always a wonderful experience. I'm so glad that I decided to move out to the coast to get a different experience and a develop a new perspective, because living some place new is always exciting. If you are an out of state student looking at USC, I suggest taking a serious look at schools that are in a new area. This weekend, only because I'm out living in LA, I was able to drive up to Tahoe for our 3 day weekend. It was amazing and such a perfect way to temporarily escape the pressures of school and take care of yourself. Self care is very important in this field in order to avoid burn out and allow yourself to keep investing your efforts into others. This weekend got to be all about taking care of me and what makes me happy! I got to see the beautiful landscape of northern Tahoe, walk around this adorable village which reminded me of something right out of the gold rush, hang out with friends, sleep in, and watch movies! I can't believe that I was able to drive a couple of hours and end up in a totally new place with a totally new mindset. And I was still in California!! How incredible is that!? In any case, it's important to sometimes put the books down, forget about all the upcoming deadlines, and have fun. Social workers are people too, and you need to remember to take care of yourself! How else will you be able to take care of others? Plus, I swear, social workers tend to be the least selfish people in the world...we gotta do more things for us! ;o) hahaha...go self care!!

Sunday Night Anxiety Disorder

Is it just me, or when I try to go to sleep around 11 p.m. on Sunday nights it's damn near impossible to ease into dreamland? At first it didn't bother me. I figured, I just wasn't tired. I tried all the suggested remedies for my insomnia: counting sheep (you're never too old to try this, and if someone tells you you are, tell them to go kick rocks), reading the most boring book I own (aka The World of Knitting...don't ask), drinking green tea, doing push-ups, etc. Nothing worked. I was still up at 1am with bloodshot eyes, a suffocated conscious, and a weary soul. And then it hit me. I wasn't suffering from late night insomnia, but SNAD (Sunday Night Anxiety Disorder). According to my own logic, this condition may be brought on by unfinished reading assignments, unwritten midterm and final papers, worrying about the well-being of clients, wondering if your bucket of a car will make it to field placement in the morning, worrying about the minions of financial aid harassing you in the most creative ways (oh and they do have some interesting ways of telling you you owe them money), etc., etc., etc., etc.

I think that it is important to remember that aside from being the dedicated "do-gooders" of the world, that we are also people. People with families and friends. People with bills and taxes. Hard-working people who usually aren't making 6 figures but driving the Honda Accord in a parking lot of Mercedes and BMWs. We are imperfect and things will never completely go our way. And as long as we can remain authentic to our work, as well as to ourselves, we can begin to remedy some of the pressing symptoms of our lives.

I need to go cause it's late and it's time for me to count sheep.

I'm ready for the real world...

I've now been at USC the past 6 years (yes, I received my BA in journalism and sociology) and I think the tank is finally teetering on the E mark. Late nights of procrastination and term papers, final assignments, 7am wake up times for 6hrs of classes...I'm ready to leave this bubble called USC and experience the real world. Not that being on my own for the past 6 years hasn't been a great breeding ground surviving in an uncompromising city like Los Angeles, but there is a sense that my life has yet to begin and I'm ready for change. I'm ready to go apartment hunting in the classifieds. I'm ready to go on interviews in search for that "perfect fit" job. I'm ready to reinvent the way in which therapy has been traditionally experienced in the school setting and start innovative creative writing programs that will foster the brilliance and potential I believe exists in all children, rather, all people. I'm ready to make social change on the communal, city, state, and national stage. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready...for the real world.

Now If I can just make it through these last 2 1/2 months...

Let's Reinvent Our Government!

I just finished reading the book “Reinventing Government” for my policy class and I must say that it has made a significant impact on the manner in which I perceive the public sector. The book is right up my alley as it discusses matters that deal with public social service institutions which is a major area of interest to me. Additionally, it has given me hope in the possibility of change in large bureaucratic public social institutions. I will attempt to provide a clear and succinct explanation of why I believe that all social workers should read this book and particularly those of us interested in macro level social work. The book provides a clear set of 10 things that should be done to reinvent our government. The question may arise, well what’s wrong with our government that it needs to be changed? As social workers many of us if not all of us are able to identify inefficiencies in our public sector institutions that keep them from effectively serving our clients. Also, for those social workers who don’t understand why I suggest that all social workers read this book because they aren’t in the public sector, I ask that you maintain an open mind and acknowledge the symbiotic relationship that exists between the public and private sector. The public sector is virtually omnipresent and regardless of what agency we serve it touches our clients and it touches us as social workers. For the abovementioned reasons and for the need for greater change I encourage you all to read “Reinventing Government” written by David Osborne and Ted Gaebler.

THE FAFSA AGAIN!

Today it dawned on me that I had to submit my 6th FAFSA ever! Oh dear, its like it never ends. Since I have to be in school past graduation because of my second degree I have to go through the whole process of filling out a FAFSA once again. Well I'm just glad I did it early, but seriously I will be so happy when I no longer have to submit any more FAFSA's again!

Sleepless NIGHTS!

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I highly value my sleep. I don’t suffer from insomnia, and I have to sleep eight hour nights, but the last few days I have been losing a lot of sleep and the culprit is graduate school. I am not an individual who allows things to stress me out. Primarily, because I recognize that the time that I spend stressing out can be filled by addressing whatever situation or issue is at hand. However, lately I feel overwhelmed and consumed with the planning of the next six months of my life. I am out there in the social work world networking as effectively as possible in order to find a place of employment where I will be happy. I am looking to work somewhere where I can utilize both of my degrees and somewhere where there is potential for growth as an administrator. I also recognize that being young and having minimal employment experience limits my options. I have so many questions still left unanswered. Like where I will work? What if I get an internship abroad or in another state? Should I pursue licensing, or should I position myself to apply to a PhD program? Do I want a job that weighs more heavily on social work or public administration? Is my place of internship a place where I would be a satisfied employee? Where am I going to live? Okay, so I won’t burden you with any further questions, but the reality is that as graduate students we have so many options and its an enormous task to attempt to make a rational decision.

MI Macro

As a COPA student....I have to say that Motivational Interviewing is also an incredibly pertinent, practical, and applicable tool for Macro Practice as well. I do have to warn...it's not always easy to practice, but if you can do it the way they propose....IT'S AWESOME!!!

Motivational Interviewing

The more I work with clinical social workers...and the more I work with my own therapist...the more I realize that if there was ONE thing you can do to make yourself a better clinician...it's to practice what is detailed in Miller & Rollnick's "Motivational Interviewing." I really wish they had used this book as THE textbook for our first year practice course.

I'll go further and say that one of the most important things outlined in the book is the notion of the "righting reflex." This reflex is essentially the clinician's natural desire to fix things...and as social workers we naturally want to fix everything.

MI states that we have to be aware of and stop ourselves from giving in to the righting reflex. Wanting to fix things right away doesn't help people. In fact, I think wanting to fix things right can leads clinicians into lecturing...which is definitely the last thing you want to do...(and I know because I catch myself doing this...it's a problem and it doesn't help my clients.)

By stopping myself from wanting to fix my client's problems, I've opened myself and the client to solving their own problems...it allows the client to enter into a self dialogue that creates insight that is more pertinent to their needs...and it gives them the freedom to know that they are allowed to freak out without me needing to fix it because I'm uncomfortable with what they are saying or doing.

Unfortunately, I think the difficulty in doing MI is that it requires people to LISTEN....why is it so hard for people to listen...why is it so hard for me to listen....just be quiet....and listen...not give advice....listen.

One step at a time!!!!

So it is only the 5th week of class and I am already stressed about midterms. So stressed that I will not allow myself to go out over the weekend because I have so much work to do. This semester just appears tougher than last semester. The first semester, I suppose is always the easiest but I must admit that that was tough too. Now that I"m reflecting on midterms and when things are due, I find myself completely overwhelmed. My rational side is saying, you will get through this, before you know it, it will be over and eventually i will be able to laugh about this later. Unfortunately, my irrational side has take over and I just can motivate myself to start my papers. On top of that, we have so much group work this semester which i feel is adding to the stress. I must admit i do enjoy all my fellow social workers but it is soooooo hard for people to agree on topic, never mind work together to complete a whole paper. I guess for now I can only take it one step at time.

Why oh why do we do group projects in grad school?

You know, in high school, I loved group projects. Probably because it was pretty easy...assinging people work, getting to hang out in the process, and having fun. During my undergrad, when group projects were assigned...I started to think...this is really difficult to organize because everyone has a different schedule and I'm busy with my life and my activities, and whatever, I'll deal....and it always turned out great, and I think even during it, it was fun to be going through the process with someone who knew your struggles exactly! Now, here I am in grad school and am being assigned group projects left and right and I'm thinking, "LAME! Who does this!?" I mean, let's be serious people, now the stakes are higher, people have even more difficult schedules to accomodate, and people don't even live in the same area to meet up when you DO get time. I enjoy group presentations, but they are just so difficult to put together. Not to mention...and this may come as a suprise...there are still people, even in grad school, who slack off. Now, if this is you who is reading it...well...don't do it anymore! Those people who can't follow directions or turn things in on time...they still exist. And you know, it's partly my own fault, because I get sucked into the role of leader because it's in my nature, and then have to do more work organizing stuff, and having to tell people "3 PM Sunday was 24 hours ago, and you STILL haven't submitted your section!" I don't get it. I don't get how professors can still assign group projects with the design of this program, or how I can be sooooo NOT understanding. I guess with my clients, it's different because I'm more separated from them, but now, in this group situation...I am feeling overwhelmed and disappointed with the students I work with. Maybe this is the problem with having high expectations...or just being a control freak. Ha. Okay, rant done.
PS SOCIAL WORK STILL ROCKS! hahaha, despite all that, it's still good people. Seriously. hahaha

I just checked out

The sixth week of the semester is about to begin and I have lost my desire to complete my assignments. I just turned in my first midterm this past week and it was very difficult for me to complete six pages of written text. In the past, it was easy to complete an assignment of five to six pages. During the process of completing that specific assignment it took me more then a week to complete the short assignment.
I have noticed this semester that I do not have the same spirit in the classroom. I stopped paying attention to the lectures given by my respected instructors and I just drift away in my thoughts. I will be graduating in a little more then 3 months and I am already on vacation mode. I do not think that this is a good thing because all I can think about is walking up that podium and receiving my diploma. We are only in the month of February and I have just checked out.

My Leadership Class

USC is one of the few if not only school’s of social work that requires leadership class for all students. Initially, I was very hesitant about my leadership class as I held the notion that I was a born leader and more training was not necessary for me to continue to develop what I thought to be already inherent leadership skills. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel that I have always had a desire to be a leader, but the class has provided me the science behind the art. I say that because leadership is an art, but it truly has a science associated with it. That is to say, that is can very well be systematically examined and explained, and that explanation has allowed me to examine myself as a leader. I now recognize the areas of strength and areas where I need to grow as a leader to be effective in the field of social work. I feel that the course is excellent preparation for me to develop as a leader and to establish myself as a leader when I enter the field of social work as a professional.

It is our RESPONSIBILITY to question EVERYTHING

This week I had the opportunity to attend All School Day with my fellow schoolmates, faculty, staff, and community members and representatives. The event was great as it made me feel like I was a part of something greater. Also, during the event I was exposed to ideas and opinions that I completely disagree with in addition to ideas and opinions that I completely agree with. As I sat in the audience and found myself questioning the logic of all of the information being provided by the key note speaker and the panelists, I began to question whether or not I was being overly critical and overly analytical. However, I now realize that as a social worker and one that truly adheres to the values of social justice and social equity I have to be critical, and as social workers we have the responsibility to be critical. I left with the realization that I have the responsibility to QUESTION EVERYTHING in order to ensure that I truly understand the motivation of individual behavior, the implications of values and beliefs, as well as the explicitly and implicitly expressed values and beliefs held by individuals in power if I am to work towards social justice.

soul/job searching

Probably THE scariest thing about being in this program is leaving this program...

It's not scary because I might not have a job...there are plenty of jobs.

It's not scary because I have massive loans to pay...they'll get paid.

It's not even that scary because I love school and don't want to leave...I'm starting to ok with leaving.

It's scary because I have to ask myself how where I decide to place myself in the next year or two will shape my ideas and forge a path for my future.

Do I want to stay in a job where I feel I have no sense of power or movement?

Is it enough to stay for the clients?

Is it ok to stay somewhere that might kill my social work spirit?

What's more important - working for progress from inside the government out, or from the outside in?

Where the hell do I fit in the grand plan?

Where do I want to go?

What do I want to do?

Who do I want to be a servant to?

There are TOO MANY QUESTIONS...and I only have three months to answer them.

Closing Gaps?

Today was All School Day. A student asked the panel what we as social workers could do to close the gap between what we know we need in practice and what is allowed for in policy? How do we close the "need" gap? (This question was so important because it is THE question that haunts me in my daily struggle with my field work.)

The answer given was "just do it." At first I thought that this answer was great because with all the encouragement from his heart, the speaker was addressing our fears. He recognized that the fears we carried directly influenced our ability to fight.

However, as I pondered some more on his answer, I realized that there is so much more than "just doing it." How does one "just do it?" I think the first part of facing fear is not to jump right in...just like we learn that flooding is not always the most appropriate treatment for phobias.

We teach our clients to do two things:
1)recognize the root of their fears and 2)take it slow.

So rather than "just doing it" maybe we should first look at our fears...

Among the MANY things...
I am afraid that I am insignificant.
I am afraid that I can't make a difference.
I am afraid that it is a losing battle.
I am afraid that I am alone in my understanding.
I am afraid that I will give up or give in...especially after I fail.
I am afraid that the opposing forces are more powerful.
I am afraid that I will be a sell out to a nice salary and pension (and health care...and security).
I am afraid that I will lose myself and my spirit.
I am afraid that I will forget my roots and my convictions.
I am afraid that I am so afraid that I will never start...

And now how do I start? How do I just do it? How do I close the gap?

How does a person eat an elephant? Contrary to popular thought, I don't think it just happens "one bite at a time." First you have to reframe the way you see the elephant. If I focus on just the foot...I won't be afraid to approach the elephant. Only then can I take my first bite.

Reframing: "Helping one person is not insignificant...it is a start...and Yes...I did start."

Success!!! And a better outlook on Macro practice!

Let me begin by expressing how demanding my policy class. My policy class is very demanding. Hahaha, no but really, it is! Today was all school's day, where all of the students in the social work program gathered together to listen to wonderful and very influential speakers. As soon as my policy class discovered who one of the speakers was, we started a petition, requesting him to pledge his support to the homeless bill SB2, which our class is focused on and is dedicated be advocates for. After asking what seemed like a million people to sign our petition, we were prepared to meet our guy, petition in hand as well as a statement that we would ask him to sign that pledged his support to SB2.
We basically stood, waiting for him to make his entrance so we could run up to him and ask for his support. This being my first time trying to lobby someone to get their endorsement...well...I was nervous! I wasn't sure what would happen, how he would react, if he'd ask me some question I didn't have the answer for....stuff like that. It went nothing like I had planned. He was very polite and actually read the statement that we prepared for him at the end of his keynote speech! At that moment, I felt like I had really done something. It was the weirdest rush...knowing that I had helped contribute to helping such a key figure make such a statement. Now, if you asked me three weeks ago what I thought of policy, I would probably cringe and say, "Ugh...policy! Macro stuff! Yuck! I want to work with people!! Give me people so I can see the difference!" I of course, being young and..slightly biased would never have guessed that I could see the difference being made in the larger scheme of things. Now I'll go back and make fun of my three-week-ago-self and say, Macro IS important! While I'm not doing anything drastic like changing my focus to COPA, I definitely appreciate the "big idea." The field of social work is so vast, I can hardly believe how many different directions you can take it! Amazing!

What a day!

So today felt like it was never going to end. I woke up at 6am wondering why am I getting up so early? Then I thought to myself I could use another hour of sleep. My final thought was that I could not wait to go to bed tonight. I feel as if I should be use to sleep deprivation but no, I must say that I enjoy my 8 hours when I can get it. As of now I"m averaging 6hours a night. (I digress) Eventually, I made it to school but first I had to fight traffic. One of the great things about LA is traffic. Usually I leave my house around 7pm and get to school about 7:35ish. Unforunatley, today I was running late. I left my house at 7:10 which through off my day. Everyone who lives in LA knows that if you leave 10minutes late, you are going be waiting in traffic. It's amazing how leaving ten minutes late can affect your normal 30min commute and exceed it to a 50min commute. Anyways, i barely made it to class which is always a little stressful. You really never want to be that person who is late for class, teachers do not like that! My first class went well. We joined another class today and talked about eatting disorders. I must say that it was so interesting and the class few by. After class, I had to talk to my professer and then rush to health services for an appointment. Then it was off to a Financial Aid meeting. Next I had to print out some slides from the computer lab which was of course busy. Around 11am to 1pm, everyone is in the room and it can be challenging to find a seat. Eventually I printed out my slides, rushed to heat up my lunch and went to class. My second class is pretty straightforward. We had a lecture and then broke up into groups to discuss the midterm project. MIDTERMS are on their way. After class, I did some research at the computer lab and then went to the parking center to pick up my car. Finally, I fought traffic once again. Honestly, traffic on the way home is not as bad as long as you leave around 4pm. When I got home I cooked and by cooking I mean, making a bowl of cereal. The rest of the night consisted of me debating whether I was going to take a nap or start doing homework. After an hour of debating and talking with my roommate I finally decided to tactile the excessive amount of homework that is due this week. Right now it's 11:45 and I still need to finish work. OH well, just the life of a MSW student. Not glamourous but real which is the way I like it!

Mondays Fun Days

I had a good time at my internship today! I had a major breakthrough with one of my clients today, which left me feeling very proud of myself. For the past couple of weeks, one of my clients, an older gentleman, had been struggling to accept my position as his social worker. Everytime I talked to him, he would ask me when he was getting my picture, or when we'd go out to dinner, or something along those lines...all of which were inappropriate and not alligned with the client/helper relationship. Many times, I'd find myself repeating my role to him. "I'm sorry, but my role here is to be your social worker. Nothing can happen outside of our time here, and I will not allow that to happen. As a social worker, I'm bound to certain ethics, which I will be held accountable. If anything were to happen with me and a client, I would lose my ability to practice social work. This isn't to sound mean or rude, but I can never go out with you."

Well...this same routine went on for a couple of sessions, and finally, today, something happened.
"I'm sorry, I can't-
"Yes! I know!! The rules! The policy! Your boss!!"
"If you understand all of this, then why do we keep revisiting this same topic every week?"
"I'm afraid if I don't make you laugh, you will stop coming to see me."
"That is definitely not the case. I will come and see you every week, regardless if you make me laugh or not. We have a professional relationship, and I'm here to help you, not to be entertained."
"Oh really?"
"Yes, really. Please feel comfortable to be yourself. I'll be here for you no matter what."

This was fantastic. I was feeling like I finally understood why we kept going back to the same thing! Then...it happened again. He suddenly resorted back to his flirting, and this time, all I did was look. The use of silence in therapy can sometimes be very powerful. This was definitely one of them. I sat there, saying nothing, and stared straight at him. He looked at me, then looked down (always pay attention to the non-verbal communication!) and then changed the subject.

And that was that. No more flirtations during the rest of our session. The elephant was ushered out. I went home happy. And my client went home happy too...with a better understanding of what it was I was there to do, and hopefully, with a new respect for me and the profession.

Old-Age Adults Need Social Workers, Too!

After attending a seminar on working with older adults, I was appalled to learn about the lack of services available for older adults. Although there a few programs that employee social workers, mainly hospice and hospitals, many people are reluctant to work with such a population since older adults are more likely to be resistant and difficult to help change. Even more frustrating, there is a lack of federal and local funding made available for older adults seeking mental health services.

However, there is work to be done with this population given the increase in the number of older adults (baby boomers are growing old). An alarming number of older adults suffer from depression, delusions and hallucinations (late onset of schizophrenia), Alzheimer’s, dementia, and other forms of psychopathology. Most notably, older adults are at a HIGH risk for suicide.

While working with school age children is my passion, I have left room in my career bank to work with the older adult population. Based on my past experience working as the social services director at a skilled nursing facility, I sensed first hand the dire need for social workers (educated and qualified) to provide person-in-environment level interventions for such a vulnerable population. How rewarding is it to help someone to live in their final days contentedly.

Why Social Work Was My Path

Without sharing 23 years worth of my life history with you all I would love to tell you a little bit about my path to social work and to USC. First, you must know that I am a product of social services, and thus am a strong believer in the influence and the positive effects of social services. My mother had only been in the U.S. for three years when I was born and she has shared with me the challenges that she had navigating most systems in the U.S. due to language and cultural barriers. Being the sole parent in the home my mother struggled for most of my life to take care of myself and my lil’ brother. I quickly became the family spokesperson as I entered elementary school and began to speak English. I remember questioning the system as a child and wondering why it was that so many individuals needed governmental assistance for survival. In addition to having questions about the “system”, I had a deep appreciation for the role that it played in ensuring that I had a home, food in my belly, and warm clothes on my back. As I grew older, my encounters with helping professionals continued. During high school I had a number of teachers that took an interest in me and guided me through the process of applying to college. During college I encountered more individuals who served as mentors and guides who assisted me and guided me through the process of completing my undergraduate degree, funding it, and successfully applying to graduate school. My arrival at USC was not planned by any means. Prior to attending USC I was in a PhD program in Sociology. After one quarter I recognized that my heart and passion lied in applied research that would someday benefit others. I recognized my need to give back to the community that had made me who I am . I decided to withdraw from my PhD program and enter into Social Work. I have no regrets about walking away from a PhD program because it wasn’t my path. I am now interested in pursuing a PhD in Social Work and I plan to do so in the near future. My philosophy in life since I was a little girl has been, “Show me the way and I promise you I will get there.” It’s funny now that I am 23 to recognize that I adhere to a philosophy that I developed during my elementary school years, but the reality is that it worked then and it works now. I strongly believe that there are a great number of individuals out in the world that merely need a guiding light and a supportive hand for them to make it out of adversity, and that is why I decided to pursue social work.

Discovering USC

I'm back and ready to finish my story. So I was just about to talk about picking programs when i left off. I looked at a variety of programs from all over the United States and then I stumbled upon USC. I had never heard of the school before last year. Not even the football team, if you can believe it. When I examined the website and read about the program I immediately became interested. The idea of going to a private school that was ranked within the top ten social work programs across the U.S, just seemed ideal. Not to mention the fact that I would not have to take the GRE's. (Big plus). The more I searched the website and inquired more information about the school, the more it became attractive. I found myself asking social workers that I worked with if they knew about the program and if so what had they heard. All of them stated that it was a great program and if I had the opportunity to go, then I should take it. Eventually I applied to the school during their early enrollment period. I completed the application, met all the deadlines, and then waited for an answer. I must admit that this whole process went rather smoothly. While waiting for a response, I decided to take a trip to California to check out the school and determine if this was what I really wanted. When I entered the campus I immediately love it. I myself went to an undergraduate program that was considered a commuter school, so i had never really had the campus experience. Viewing the campus in person was priceless and an experience that I could not have received from the Internet. Anyways, while on campus, I met with faculty members, I asked the necessary questions about the program, as well as talking to students about their likes and dislikes. After it was all said and done I had made up my mind that this was where I wanted to continue my education. When I arrived home, I anxiously awaited my letter. I thought to myself, no matter what happened good or bad, this was the school for me. Somehow, someway, I would make it work. Luckily I got in on the first try. I remember getting the acceptance letter and feeling excited about what the future held. I also realized that things were about to change and that I was on my way to California. That would mean that I would have to leave my family and friends along with everything else I had every know. As much as I was excited, I was also scared about moving close to 3,ooo miles away from home. What was I thinking! This was the theme that started the day I received my acceptance letter and continued to rare it head the day I moved to CA. It was the question I asked myself during the first semester and the question I continue to ask myself. What was I thinking???? At the end of the day, after all the studying, all the doubt/insecurities and stress, I realized that this decision was not only the best decision I made but one that will inspire me as a person to become a better social worker.

The Gift of Social Work

As social work students, we have been educated about accepting gifts from clients. I have heard so many different things..."It's the meaning behind the gift that matters" or "NEVER ACCEPT ANYTHING!" With such contradicting stories, I never know what to do. Around the holidays, I accepted a card from a patient that had a $50 gift card to Nordstroms. I knew immediately that I had to return this extrodinary present and told my field instructor about it. We both lamented over the fact of the return, but his take on it was that anything over $10 and/or could not be shared with the entire office must be given back. Even though the meaning in this case wasn't to bribe me with any special treatment, it was too generous a gift to take. I returned the gift to the patient upon our next meeting and explained that it was the thought behind the present that mattered the most, and I felt honored to be considered so important in the patient's life. Well, today, it happened again.
Last week, I provided marriage counseling to a couple. This was a completely new experience for me, because my placement has really nothing to do with such things. In any case, this week, the couple returned with a gift in tow. Remembering my past experience, I politely told them that while I was honored that they thought of me, I could not accept the gift....company policy. That didn't stop my patient from insisting that he speak to my field preceptor to bring the matter up with her. I called her over, and she spoke with them. My wonderful field preceptor explained that the company had made a policy against gift giving to protect both the staff and the patients. She was caught off guard when my patient responded, "Have you ever gotten pulled over and received a ticket?" Slightly confused, she answered..."Why, yes, unfortunately I have." He replied, "Well, you broke a law then! You can break this one now! My meaning is to show my appreciation to my social worker! Let her have it!" We laughed, and she took the gift and handed it to me. We opened the box wrapped in a brown bag in her office to find a glass rose. This gift felt different than the other. While it was something that I would never buy myself, and quite honestly, I have no idea what I will do with it, it meant so much to me. They had seen this present and thought of me. This made me realize, if they are thinking about me outside of the clinic, the work that we do while we're together must be making an impact. My preceptor later explained, sometimes it's better to take a gift so that you don't offend your clients and hurt your relationship, but it just goes to show you that there are no real "rules" in social work. Our profession means something different to everyone and it's a learn as you go process. The glass rose that I received today made me realize how much I loved what I was doing and how much of an impact I can have upon others...not to mention, how much growing I have left to do.