Wednesday, January 31, 2007
why social work.
Too often the face of homelessness is lost because they're hiding under bridges, in motels, in someone's garage, or stuffed into a small apartment with three other families. In downtown I cannot become segregated from the fact that homelessness is inhumane.
I certainly did not know I would end here...I was ready to get my PhD in cognitive psychology...study memory and trauma for the rest of my life...but I did get a calling, and some advice from a friend who told me that I should be a social worker. I looked into it, not knowing social work was even about clinical work (I'm COPA all the way...live and breath for advocacy and social justice…but now I appreciate and use the clinical) and came to USC.
USC pushed me to self reflect...it made me struggle personally...and on the way I took some amazing electives. I look back now as I'm four months from graduating and I'm grateful.
I am grateful for the opportunity...for the privilege...of being a social worker. Mostly I’m grateful to belong to a group of individuals who value human rights, choice, and know that there IS meaning in life.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
MY WAY TO USC!
I am a first time blogger and I would just like to take time out of this busy Tuesday to introduce myself and tell you all why I chose USC's MSW program. My name is Phenice which means a palm tree and fitting considering I ended up in a state surrounded by them. As you can probably tell I am an out of towner who recently moved to CA from Boston, MA. Up until a year ago, I had no desire to leave my comfort zone or become a social worker. My plan was to become a child psychologist. For a long time I was working with adolescence transitioning out of the Department of Social Services. I worked with a lot of adolescence who aged out of the system. After three years, working with this population, I realized that many of my client ended up homeless or having to go back to the families that abused them. All I remember feeling is complete frustration with the system and how it dealt with children. The system tries it best under the circumstances but in the end, the department is not a very good parent. I wondered how I could change things? For a long time I battled with this question. After a few months I realized that it was time to go back to school. I was helping my clients by being with them and planting the seed but there was this desire to do more. I soon realized that I could not create change without the proper education and knowledge that would stimulate growth. This is how I decided to go back to school. I started looking at psychology programs and maintain a general interest. As I attained information surrounding the field I realized that I would be in a narrow profession. I wanted the opportunity to do different things in my profession and give myself some freedom. When I told my supervisor at the time, she simple stated that I should go to an MSW program. After some convincing, I looked into the different programs within MA and then on the east coast and finally on the west coast. ( So I realize that I have rambled on long enough) It's time for me to stop and do some homework but I will post again with the end of the story. Until then take care.
Phew! What a day!!!
A Little Intern In The Large Social Service Machine
I will say that my experiences at my present field placement have been so valuable. Since the day I walked in through the doors of the School of Social Work I knew I wanted to work at the macro-level. Really ask anyone who met me I was walking around telling everyone I was in the COPA concentration even though we hadn’t picked concentrations yet. I absolutely love and feel fortunate that I have been immersed in the world of macro-level social work. I am also happy to have done it as a student because I can still blame my “curiosity” when I ask people to share insider organizational information with me. Although my placement has been rich in lessons and challenges I wouldn’t trade it because I have learned a WHOLE lot about macro-social work, and most importantly about myself as a macro-social worker.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Social Work: A One of Kind Profession
Like Cold Stone's Ice Cream:
Reason #1: Just as you have the freedom to pick and choose your flavor of ice cream at Cold Stone, you can choose to work in a venue of any kind (schools, government, hospitals, county agencies, private sector, fortune 500 companies, and even in cinema-television).
Reason #2: Once you choose your flavor of ice cream, then you have the pleasure of selecting from a variety of toppings. As for social work, you can choose to sprinkle a little direct practice (e.g. psychotherapy); put a dab of macro-level work (e.g. program development); or just choose to be the change agent you are!
Reason #3: Here comes the BEST part of it all...Like Cold Stone Ice Cream, social workers are skilled to work in the MIX of all types of environments (considering the principles of person-in-environment), with people form various cultures and backgrounds using a strengths-based perspective, and are REWARDED with the sweet sensation of helping others help themselves.
I will have to say that social work is a CALLING…A VOCATION! My passion for social work comes from deep within. Given my personal and professional experiences, I did not have the audacity to sit and be content with the way our nation is…to accept things as they are. Instead, I followed my calling, my purpose in life, my DREAM which is to aid the challenged, breed hope from despondency, and advance the well-being of all people!
Friday, January 26, 2007
Inspired
It is so difficult to stay idealistic in a world that kills your entrepreneurial spirit....but it is my DUTY to stay inspired. Inspiration is a source of hope that keeps me going. It reminds me of my dreams and my ideals, it reminds me that change is necessary...change is possible. Men and women have come before me, rooted in their values and their inspirations, believing that a better world is to come and that we are in so many ways a part of that progress.
What kind of social worker would I be if I allowed myself to be squashed by the power of bureaucracy instead of fight it?
How do I stay inspired?
Addicted
My substance abuse professor, whom I absolutely still love and grieve the loss of her class...describes the dual nature (love/hate) of the relationship with the addictive substance. I understand more now, as I self reflect on my growingly complicated relationship with caffeine.
I am tired in the morning and I don't feel like I function well without my coffee...I can't think, I can't focus, I feel lethargic...so I drink coffee...I NEED my coffee. I need to be productive, I need to feel awake. I LOVE my coffee. I love to feel like I can finish everything, I love that I have a quick fix to psychomotor retardation :)...I love the taste, I love the smell (the smell wakes me up!).
But the coffee is EVIL...and while I feel awake and I feel focused and all of a sudden I'm actually doing my work...I also feel anxious...OHHH so anxious. I feel tense, I feel like I can rip my skin off, I worry about life and the future, my muscles tighten. I realize that my coffee...as wonderful as it is…does bad things to me. (Scary...sometimes I love the anxiety; because secretly I thrive on urgency...it motivates me.)
Unfortunately, the more I become aware of the negative consequences of my coffee, the more I HATE my coffee. I don't hate it enough to stop...I don't think I can stop. I get headaches and feel ten times more lethargic when I stop...WITHDRAWL...I just hate it enough that as I purchase coffee or bring the fabulous concoction to my lips, I scream in my head to STOP...and I still drink my coffee....and I hate that I can't stop, I hate that I rely on it, I hate that I want it.
All that I am left with is this internal struggle...the love and need...the hated and self loathing.
I cannot imagine that this comes close to any struggle any addicted person...especially meth, cocaine, and heroin must feel. My clients in skid row struggle with this relationship...it feels real, like the addiction calls to you...and tells you that you don't exist without it...you can't exist without it. But they don't have a place to sleep at night, and they don't have a family or friends to support them, and the addiction is easy...it loves you back, and it's THERE...all the time it's there...so easy.
I understand...even if in a little way...I UNDERSTAND.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Hello!!
My name is Alicia Wojcik and I am a first year, full time student working on my MSW at USC! I am originally from a suburb of Chicago, Illinois and moved out here in August to begin the program. I graduated in May '06 from the University of Illinois in Urbana-Champaign in sociology and gender women's studies and knew that I had to go on to get a masters! After identifying that I wanted to work with children in the school setting, I realized that I wanted to help them get the most of their education. Having worked as a camp counselor for junior high kids, I realized that my "kids" had other stressors in their lives that affected them in many ways. How can kids learn about math if they are worrying about problems they may be experiencing at home??? That's when I determined that my calling was to help those kids so that they may have a greater chance at succeding in school, which of course, will help them succed in life! Plus, kids are hilarious and they don't even know it. That and I may just be a kid at heart (and probably for the rest of my life!) and can easily identify with the population! In any case, from the moment I entered the program, I knew exactly what I wanted to accomplish. This of course, is not true for lots of people. In fact, most of my social work friends are having difficulty picking a concentration in the field of social work because there is so much you can do! After getting accepted in a couple of different programs, I decided on USC for a couple of reasons. The first is, what better place to learn about social work than in Los Angeles?? There are so many opportunities here, not to mention the richness of diversity which is present in the city and the classroom! I also looked into the different placements that USC offered and was excited to receive a challenging placement that would prepare me for life after school! While it was difficult to pick up and move out here and start fresh, the experience has been amazing. I never knew I could learn so much about myself when moving 2,000 miles away from all my family and friends! I came out here knowing no one in the Los Angeles area. The closest people I knew were 600 miles away, living in the Bay area, and I didn't have a clue for who to put down for a contact in the "In case of emergency" area! (That was a moment where I wondered, "What exactly made you think you could do this Alicia?!?") Yet, despite my reservations, coming to USC has been an excellent decision. I'll have more opportunities to explain later all about the process of moving out here, but for now, I must go back to reading! (the favorite past time of all grad students everywhere!)
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
What A Nice Surprise
My new favorite word...TIRED
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
busy busy busy
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Children of men
An embarassing moment...
(Double negative, i.e. GET CAUGHT DOING THE READINGS)
My professor called on me to answer a question pertaining to an assigned reading for which I did not have the answer to. Given the immense amount of reading assignments, I was not able to get to the ONE reading that my professor inquired about. What did I do??? I simply told the truth. I felt extremely embarrassed about not being prepared for class. I was overwhelmed with feelings of guilt.
LESSON LEARNED- Even if I do not have the opportunity to read the material in its entirety, at least I will attempt to peruse the readings.
Leaving Optometry for Social Work?...
There was no need for me to stress that she would be taking a HUGE cut in salary. Instead, I spent my time best by encouraging her not to settle for feelings of doubt, but to live through her passion instead. I enlightened her on the importance of doing so when writing her personal statement.
Let's keep our fingers crossed for this applicant!
The Greatest Social Worker of All Time: Dr. Martin L. King Jr.
Attending the 22nd Annual Kingdom Day Parade with members of the USC Black Social Work Caucus fueled my burning thoughts and perceptions about the state of our nation. As I witnessed politicians, students, and vast organizations proceed through the parade, I contemplated how much work is needed in order to fulfill the dream of the great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Dr. King once wrote: Law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice and when they fail in this purpose they become the dangerously structured dams that block the flow of social progress. --Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 'Letter from Birmingham Jail' in Why We Can't Wait 1963. While I give praise to those who have persevered to challenge laws and policies that hinder equality and who have thus created change, I SCREAM out to the men and women of today, social workers of all kind, to stand forth and raise controversy so that we (and those that follow us) can reap the benefit of desegregation, true justice, and equality.
In the midst of speaking to a news reporter, I was smothered with anger having to point out the realities of our country: failing education systems, segregation in communities and employment, and the various disparities between the have and have nots. I went on to comment about the work of social workers and graciously demystified the stereotype of our role as "taking children from homes" and "disseminating welfare checks." I was proud to proclaim that social workers serve humankind in all capacities.
As advocates for "social progress", I say we ring the alarm and began to reform the state of America so that, in light of Dr. King's vision, we can hold our country accountable for living out the true meaning of its creed!
Helpers Need Help Too
Friday, January 19, 2007
Going to therapy
Therapeutic experience #1: Therapy is scary...Maybe I'm not ready...I have problems.
I have problems...problems got worse...they affect my work...and my ability to feel normal....don't say "define normal."
Therapeutic experience #2: driven by lack of normality...I see therapist #2.
Intake: not so bad..so far I haven't run out the door. But she's not pushing my buttons...whether or not this is a good thing, is questionable..I like her...
Session 1: It becomes apparent that I'm EXTREMELY anxious...and I love my anxiety...I love being stressed...it drives me...I get things done...but it's a problem. I'm flighter not a fighter. Avoiding is what I do best...and being busy and stressing and anxiety keeps me busy so that I can avoid some more. (I told her that if she puts me on the surgical table to work on this issue, I'm sure I'll die in the process...she says to think of it as an illness that won't kill me...I still think I'll die.)
Sooooo, my therapist tells me that I have to work on my anxiety. I want to know WHY I'm the way I am...she refuses to give in and tells me that I will either trust her and work on my anxiety or I will continue to be consumed with my worry of knowing the future and intellectualizing everything. Damn she's good. She's a hard ass too...I LOVE that and I hate that...she's starting to scare me...or maybe the process is starting to scare me.
So now I know I have to work on my anxiety...and it's FREAKING me out. She tells me to try a "5 things" technique: say 5 things I see, 5 things I hear, 5 things I feel...4 things I see, 4 things I hear, 4 things I feel....all the way to 1. Just thinking about doing this task, and when I did it with her...made me anxious. I wanted to laugh so bad...that was the only thing that brought my anxiety down.
She also told me that I should reconstruct my thoughts. The problem is I can't tell the difference between my bad thoughts and my good thoughts...I've lived with my bad thoughts for so long I don't even realize they're bad.
Bad thought number 1: I need to know.
Bad thought number 2: Committment is bad...or I want to be free...or I don't really know how to define this thought.
Bad thought number 3: I have to fix everything.
Bad thought number 4: I have to do everything.
Bad thought number 5: I need to know.
Bad thought number 6: I can't do anything until I know.
5 things...5 things...5 things. I hope this works...and I'm so going to die.
Bad thought number 7: I'm going to die.
Welcome Everyone
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Field placement
Adding/dropping classes
Monday, January 15, 2007
Back to school
So...I kept asking my field instructor for a project...and he gave me a project: to create and build a website for our facility. When they say you should be careful what you ask for, they really meant it. I have no idea what the hell I'm doing and I'm not quite sure "Building a website for Dummies" is necessarily going to help me. Plus I have to do this before I graduate. Although he's offered me a job...I'm not so sure after I completely fail this task...no he won't do that, there's too much to do in Skid Row.
A website would be nice...it would really change the way different organizations in the Downtown area work with our agency and increase communication, which is so needed, it's scary that it hasn't been done considering how long we've all been there.
I do have to say that I'm frightened about the Downtown situation. The political and economic situation is going south for the homeless mentally ill. The worse part is they are so concerned about finding shelter they don't even know that in a few years they'll all be screwed...or they'll have shelter because they'll be in jail.
Doing social work will never be boring...that is something you can count on in a profession where you can't count on much.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
We're BACK!
Friday, January 12, 2007
A Change Agent at Heart!
After being educated on the many options, I began to consider ways to integrate my love for education with my passion for social work. Subsequently, I have acknowledged that the field of social work serves as a prominent venue for me to assist individuals in the classroom while producing change in the education system at large. Not to mention, I am able to help families access resources, provide teacher and administrative support, as well as design and implement programming that meet the many needs of students and their families.
For instance, I am now working to design a program for students to participate in while they are off-track (in schools with a non-traditional school schedule). I also have practiced psychotherapy with individual students who have been diagnosed with varying disorders (depressive disorder, PTSD, substance abuse, and ADHD). Moreover, my learning experience has been enhanced by co-facilitating a parent group (Back In Control). Interning as a school social worker, I do classroom visits, provide psychoeducation for teachers and administrators, and LEARN much about the school system. I say I have the best of all worlds!
At times change seems slow, however, I always remind myself that some change is better than none.
-A Change Agent at Heart
Monday, January 08, 2007
Field Trip!
The field trip was a total surprise and it made the first day back in field very exciting. I will miss my leisurely winter break days where I would indulge in sleep, reading books for fun, painting, and just socializing, but to be honest it’s good to be back. : )
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Get set, Ready, Go!
I suppose I will spend these last few vacation days getting organized! I'll do some goal setting, and perhaps read a few of my course syllabi.
After all, I am excited about graduating! Oh, let me not forget to plan to schedule for job interviews...